The Truth Is: A Retelling of WOWP The Movie
by SanityInTime
Summary: If Wizards Of Waverly Place wasn't made for Disney Channel (and was a book) what would it look like? A retelling of the movie in which scenes are fleshed out and added, seasons are actually referred to, teenagers swear like teenagers and subtext actually leads to conflicted feelings (Jalex)! Plus, Harper gets a sub-plot: going on a cross-state adventure to Nana Franny! Strong T.
1. Favouritism

**A/N (Author's Note – not essential to read but recommended): **

I'll try to put as few of these in as I possibly can; I want this to be as authentically book-like as possible and in a book an author isn't allowed to jump in and explain herself halfway through. So with that in mind, let me get the basics out of the way and then I'll let you read.

Yes, I don't own any of the rights for the Wizards of Waverly Place franchise – but don't act like you've never accidentally stolen a pencil. My brain it- it sees these things and it just starts taking them and using them before it realises it's, well... making a drawing with a stolen pencil. I'm going to return it but some of the lead will be gone, okay? It's not like you need all of it. But yes, I am not entitled to make a profit from this and will not be – I'm not even sure how I'd do that via FanFiction but there you go.

In terms of what this story's about, well, it's what I think the movie would have been like if made for… HBO perhaps, rather than Disney Channel. It's not a new story: it's a retelling, a reboot – like those dark versions of fairy tales that are so popular at the minute. It's about bringing the subtext closer to the surface, adding in a few more realistic acts of teenage-ness (swearing, for example) and filling out some of the places where the plot was lacking (a backstory for Giselle the Parrot and some more references to the first two seasons, anyone?) - at the same time, keeping enough light-heartedness and humour to act as comic relief. And, just to make this blatantly clear, the pairing in this fan fiction is going to be Justin/Alex and no, it's not an AU (alternate universe). If you can't get your head around that, it won't be romanticised as ideal but… you may find this too uncomfortable to read. Conflicted feelings and confusion will feature.

Any necessary warnings, including any potential trigger warnings (but it's not _that _kind of reboot - there will never been anything non-consensual), will be included briefly at the beginning of each chapter.

Also, I will be using British spellings and formatting (we use single speech marks here, for example) but American language - I'm sorry but it's better than me trying to write it the American way and making a mess of it, right?

And with that, my friends, author out.

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><p><strong>Warnings For This Chapter:<strong> Contains some use of strong language and implied sexual content. Max suggests feeding duplicates of himself to Justin's bag but don't worry - no clones were harmed in the making of this fanfic. Also, Alex seems to imply that she thinks protected sex is 'dorky' - she doesn't mean it, don't think this way people, be safe.

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><p>Alex tugged at the blinds of the Waverly Sub Station, peering out into the darkness. Harper wasn't here yet, she would have seen her if she was. Apparently she was going with a Madonna theme tonight and, knowing Harper, that'd mean a literal interpretation of one of her songs, so Alex was expecting either the Virgin Mary or a giant copy of Vogue to come walking down the steps at the top of the street. Nothing yet.<p>

She needed entertainment. Closing the blinds, she grinned: see? Now she had a reason to look through Justin's bag - she couldn't be expected to be bored, could she? The Sub shop was closed, so she couldn't serve customers, and school had finished last week, so it's not like she had any homework to do (as if she was going to do it anyway if she had) - so what other choice did she have?

'Justin?' she whispered, 'I found your bag – mind if I tear through it and look at all your personal stuff?'

Maybe if she was lucky, she'd find a condom – he had been dating Juliet for a while now, and as gross as it was to think of her brother doing _that _and even though his girlfriend was undead and he could probably just use a spell to get rid of any infectious diseases she'd been carrying around since the middle ages, he was such a dork for protection that he'd have to have one – and then their devoutly Catholic mother, oh yes the wait-until-you're-married-even-though-I-was-four-months-pregnant-with-your-brother-when-your-father-and-I-got-hitched variety, would throw a fit and he'd never be 'the good child' again.

Of course she got no reply. ''Kay, thanks!' she dived for the bag sitting so innocently on the table. _Thank you, indeed, _she thought, but when she opened it she found something even better than she was expecting - the egghead hadn't even tried to cover it with a scarf or something. Right there, completely uncovered, was not only the family wand but _The Book of Forbidden Spells_. 'No freaking way!' This was incredible, he'd be grounded for life. _Justin?_ Perfect little Justin doing magic without Daddy's permission – _dangerous, powerful _magic? For once, he'd actually be brought down to her level and-

'Ahh!' as soon as she'd touched the book, Justin's bag had snapped around her arm like a Venus flytrap and was now rapidly convulsing, opening and closing as it moved up toward her shoulder. She tried to use her other hand to pull it out but the bag swallowed that one too. 'Shit! J-Justin?' Really, all those times he could have walked in on her in the middle of going through his stuff, this one time could he not just catch her? She flung the bag around in the air but it would not come off. Panicking, she tried to resist as it pulled itself above her and she screamed as it engulfed her head. She couldn't see. She couldn't move. She stumbled into the tables, knocking something. Many somethings.

'_What_ is going on? Is everything alright?' Crap. The muffled voice of that mother she was thinking about earlier reached her through the fabric. Hadn't she been trying to make things worse for _Justin_, not herself?

'Alex?' _Dad too?_ Just great. Just fucking great! By this time the bag had reached down to her legs so all she could do in response was tap her foot and wait to be saved by the _Russo Wonder Child_ once again.

The Russo Wonder Child meanwhile, more commonly known as Justin – or the J-Man by his friends, you know – had been in the kitchen, helping Max. Or rather standing back with his arms crossed in only slightly boastful superiority as his younger brother created yet another one of his unusual – Max would call it ingenious – sandwich combinations. Today's special: lettuce, tomato, chicken burger and… wait for it, chocolate frozen yoghurt, deep-fried in a paprika and pickle-flavour batter. Oh yes.

Hearing their parents, the two boys exited the kitchen, Max's creation presented on a plate for them to sample, however he got distracted by the anthropomorphic bag in front of him and had to call dibs, 'Awesome! Dad, I don't know what that thing is but if it can survive on chocolate froyo deep-fried in a paprika and pickle-flavour batter which tastes faintly of chicken burger, can I keep it?'

Justin, finding Alex's predicament even more hilarious than the sentence which had just come out of his brother's mouth, glided past him to stand in front of his sister. Or her feet, anyway. 'Aha! I knew it!' he raised his finger in the air, signalling in triumph, '_Alex _has been going through my bag, so I put a spell on it,' taking another step closer and crouching down to where the bag stood at his waist he whispered 'Deny it now, _sis._' The little thief had been caught red-handed, no - _red-bodied, good one! _he thought, complimenting himself, there was no way she'd be able to wriggle herself out of this one.

Alex, hearing all of this and feeling rather less than happy by the revelation that it was _Justin_ who was responsible for this (surprisingly sneaky of him), shouted 'Oh, fuck you!' and momentarily panicked when she remembered that their parents were still in the room. When no one reacted however she realised with a sigh of relief that the thing must be soundproof from the inside.

It was okay, she'd get him back momentarily. She may be currently stuck inside a bag but she still had hold of his stolen items.

Their mother, by now more than fed up with having three adolescent wizards under her roof – _as if having your kids go through puberty wasn't already trouble enough_, made a sarcastic comment (it runs in the family) and went back upstairs.

Jerry sighed, 'Justin, do it.'

'Let's watch her run around,' he said, feeling smug with the way Max's eyes shot up with anticipation at this, but then he looked at his father and chickened out – well, at least partially, 'Magic was used to protect the bag, reverse the spell, release the... hag.' He smiled, _oh make-'em-ups_, who said only Alex could have fun with them?

'Well,' Alex began after she'd got the bag off of her head. To be honest, she hadn't had quite enough time to work out a way to make herself look completely innocent so... accusations! 'Yes, I went through your stupid bag, which by the way, was just left out, for anybody to steal - you should be happy I'm not a jewel thief!'

'Alex, there were no jewels in my-'

'Ah-ah! I wasn't finished. Hag? Really?' she placed her hands on her hips, 'Your pervert of a bag didn't seem to think so, with the spell _you _put on it, feeling me up like- no!' Justin had been about to interrupt again, Alex could tell from the way his eyes were bulging out of his head, 'Still not done!'

Alex turned to their father, who had been standing there at a loss for words, and presented to him the wand and the book, 'But look at what I found. The family wand _and _the Book of Forbidden Spells,' she smiled, 'Justin took it out of the lair without permission,' she turned to the boy in question, 'You know what? My respect for you may actually be increasing.'

'I didn't take it,' as Alex's smile fell, the slight look of panic left Justin's face and he grew more confident, '_Dad _gave it to me.'

'And it's shrinking again.'

Both siblings turned to their father – one looking extremely pleased with himself, the other extremely pissed off. The third was off in the background, trying to tempt Justin's bag with his sandwich, seeing if it had a taste for anything other than human flesh.

'Dad!' Alex exclaimed, drawing Jerry's attention back from what Max was doing, 'how could you give this to Justin? It's _forbidden,_' she moved around a table, waving the book around in the air, 'You _said _we're not allowed to touch this, we're not _ready._ Remember?'

Justin placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned in, 'I think by "we", he meant "you".'

Alex was tempted to flick his hand off and hope that it ended up smacking him in the head, at least that might wipe that holier-than-thou bullshit look he no doubt had off of his stupid face. Instead she merely crossed her arms, jabbing him in the ribs. Hard.

'Alex,' Jerry grimaced, 'if one day, possibly, you pass and-or show up to an exam, you can use the spell book and the family wand too it's just... well, they're extremely powerful and it takes a certain level of responsibility...' he trailed off, seeing that this wasn't having any effect on her expression and wondering what those noises were coming from Max's direction...

'But I am _so_ responsible enough – I can be trusted!' she shook off Justin's hand, which still hadn't budged, 'You can't just... well, I for one think this is completely unfair on me and Max. Right, Max?'

Max, conducting a scientific experiment to see how the bag would react if he offered it his hand rather than the sandwich, had been almost entirely digested by the thing. A little further and the bag, with two feet waddling beneath it, would have looked like a penguin (thanks to Max, it would not be the first penguin to enter the sub shop).

'Dude!' she rushed over, 'Max! Come on, you are so not helping right now!'

Alex helped the bag to regurgitate Max, yanking it off his head. His reaction to this was to say 'Okay, I am so keeping this thing! I reckon, if I can just make a duplicate of myself everyday, I can keep it fed long enough-'

'Okay! I don't really have an opinion about the great wand _disputa_,' Teresa had come back downstairs, now also wearing a coat and necklace, cutting off whatever crazy plan Max had been about to reveal, 'But if anyone should be playing nice right now, it's you, Alex. Don't push.'

'Mm,' Jerry nodded, _let their mother clear this one up_, 'We better get going, honey,' he motioned to the door.

'Yes, dear,' she patted his arm, seeing through his avoidance technique instantly.

Justin, who had been patiently waiting for the moment that he could be at his maximum smugness, took this as his opportunity, 'I'm gonna need you to return the wand and spell book back to where you found them.' He grabbed the bag from where it had been dumped after Max's experiment and placed it in front of Alex.

She glared.

He smiled.

'Thank you,' Justin said when she reluctantly placed the wand back into his bag, watching the expression on her face so intently that he didn't notice when Alex kept the spell book behind her back.

'Fine. I didn't want it anyway,' she said. _Total lie. _Her brother may have some stupid wand but with this? She could find a spell for anything. 'Wait,' her father was opening the door, 'where's everybody going?'

'_We_ are going to dinner - it'll be a nice change to be free from magic for a few hours,' Teresa sighed, then looked over to Justin and Max, 'I want you guys done packing by the time we get back.'

'Okay,' the boys replied in unison, and started to go upstairs.

Justin was excited. Two whole weeks without Alex? Two weeks without having to waste his magic saving her ass or being outshone by her every time she actually _bothered_ to do something productive? 'Dude, this is gonna be the best vacation ever.'

'Are there gonna be volcanoes?' Max asked.

_What? _'No.'

As Max argued that the only type of vacation worth going on was the lava-filled kind - did Justin remember that great trip to Volcano Land they went on when they were at Wiztech? - Justin heard that voice so prone to stalking him. _Harper. _What was Alex doing? She wasn't supposed to be going to Harper's until they left for the Caribbean. Suddenly Justin realised, _That party in Brooklyn! _She was planning to sneak out! _Well,_ he smiled, no longer listening to Max's nonsense, _there's no way Mum's gonna let her go to that, _and entered his room.

In fact, just who did Alex think she was? Justin sat down on his bed, aggressively (sitting on a bed can be very aggressive). As a founder of the Alien Language League and ex-boy scout, Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo had always valued respecting the property of others, whether human, alien or... Alex. Who was she to go through _his _bag, of all people's? _Nothing but a disrespecting, thieving little... thief! _Well, Alex had had enough chances! She had clearly learned nothing from being almost eaten by the piece of property she'd been pillaging and, as a moral citizen, it was Justin's job to teach his sister a lesson! Maybe if he could just teach her to feel empathy for others by putting her in a similar situation... yes, Justin would simply have to go through Alex's things and see how she liked it!

Halfway toward her bedroom, Justin heard a door slam and froze: if their parents had left and Alex had been banned from going to the party, wouldn't she be coming up here? The teenager was scary and, even if he did know more spells than her, he was still terrified of her pranking abilities. Not hearing anything else, he creeped down to the living room and along to the top of the stairs which led down to the restaurant.

'Oh it's okay, Alex. We can still find something super fun yet age-appropriate to do.' That bubbly voice. He leant forward, peeking over the railings. Was Harper dressed as... Madonna?

'Oh Harper, Harper, Harper. We're sixteen, unless you're Justin - who, by the way, still asks everytime if he's allowed to meet Juliet for a lunch date,' she sniggered, and Justin was just about to defend the importance of filial piety in a world of growing disrespect for one's parents when he remembered he wasn't supposed to be hearing this and closed his mouth, 'it's completely age-appropriate to go to a party your parents don't approve of.'

'But Max and Justin - who, for doing that, Alex, I think is a sweetheart even if it is for that man-stealing bitch of a vampire,' Harper side-tracked and Justin felt slightly scared, 'Sorry, what was I saying? Your brothers are just upstairs, Alex, and your parents said we can't leave the building.'

Alex lowered her voice and Justin had to strain to hear, 'Who said anything about leaving the building?'


	2. Jealousy and Confusion

**Notice: Please vote in the poll on my profile to decide where Harper will be travelling to in her sub-plot! It closes 11th October 2014.**

**A/N: **I know I said I wouldn't put many of these in but I just have a few small notices to give. Sorry - skip it if you want!

Firstly, I'm genuinely surprised at the amount of response this has gotten - I was certain I'd joined the fandom too late! I've been reading the fanfics on here for about a year and all this time I'd been thinking that I was one of maybe... ten people if I was lucky? But 88 visitors already! To know there are... others out there (dramatic statement), well it's pretty cool.

However, as much as I'd love to write everyday... sigh... I'm currently in the midst of university applications (English Literature, woo!) and coursework and yeah - busy, stressful times! So expect an update once per week but please don't give up hope if I occasionally take two (do message me to ask about it).

Wanna be friends? (It's lonely out here) Drop me a PM (personal message) and I'd be happy to chat.

I've replied to the reviews so far through PM and will be doing this with any future reviews this receives.

Anyway, see you in seven days!

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>Some strong language, a somewhat sexual situation (with Justin by himself, thinking about things) and, no, we still haven't got to the holiday yet - what do you mean, I'm being slow? I'm setting the scene here. And Harper's here! You've gotta love Harper!

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><p>At a subway station somewhere in Manhattan, a man returning home for the night was reading a newspaper: '<em>Woman Claims Wizards and Vampires Roam the Streets of Waverly Place'? Jeez, tabloids these days. <em>A sudden rush of air ripped the paper right out of his hands, scattering the pages across the platform.

'Fuck!' some teenager slapped him on the shoulder, 'did you freakin' see that, dude? That thing looked like a _diner_!'

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><p>'Alex,' Harper said from within the diner, 'do you really want to go to this party so badly that you'd put both of our lives in danger?' Hands clenched around a table in an attempt to stay balanced in a subway cart actually <em>not<em> designed for transport, she called over towards the girl grinning out into the darkness once again - except this time, rather than looking out into a street she was watching a subway tunnel twist and bend at a frightening speed.

By this point in their relationship, Harper had often wondered if Alex had any regard for the lives of her best friend, herself or - let's be honest here - anyone she came into contact with. It was moments like this (so pretty much once a day), with the adrenaline pumping through her body and her friend who had put her in this situation ignoring her, that Harper struggled the hardest to remember that it wasn't evil, it was just impulsiveness... stupid, reckless impulsiveness.

And she had let her do it.

The lights swung wildly above their heads - _haha, looks like strobe lighting! _Alex noticed as it lit up her map in half-a-second long glimpses. She heard Harper shout 'For the record, I just want to say I think this is a really, really bad idea! And when it goes wrong-' she paused to grab a salt shaker about to fall off the table, 'you're not going to blame me for this, Alex!'

Alex laughed, still facing the window. 'I hope by "bad idea" you mean genius. Oh, I _love _twisting people's words!' _Try destroying my life _now_, Mum!_

'Alex!' Alex looked up from the map. _Fuck!_ A train was heading straight for them. She had the urge to duck. The noise got louder and louder - but then, a second before they would have both been dead, the cart swerved, lurching the girls sideways and onto another track.

Alex turned around to give Harper a nervous smile, 'See? Perfectly safe. Why doesn't anyone think I can be trusted?' Her words were slightly less reassuring given the fact that they were weak and breathy, on account of almost having a heart attack.

'Can't we slow this thing down?' Harper begged. She was working against Alex's _pride_ here, she knew she'd have to sound pretty desperate.

Seemingly recovered, she replied 'Yeah... no. When they put the tables in they must have taken the controls out - weird, huh?' she strolled over casually to Harper's end of the sub, 'But don't worry, it's fine,' she collapsed down into a seat and crossed her legs, 'this thing is enchanted, it knows where it's going.'

'Then why are we heading _up_town?'

Alex look out of the windows again to see _42nd Street, 49th, 57th _flashing past within moments of each other.

'Brooklyn's in the _other _direction, on the _other _side of the river - oh please, Alex, can't we just go home?' Reasoning, emotion - Harper was willing to try anything to appeal to that little, tiny part of Alex that might actually listen to her.

'No! Harper, we are _going _to this party! Stupid spells,' she mumbled, 'hang on,' and started flicking through the spell book.

'Why? It won't be that great! Really, Alex, it doesn't matter!' she tried to get closer but the floor was shaking too much.

Alex snapped the book shut. 'Yes, it does! It's a matter of principle! And I _need _to hook up with someone! I swear to God if I have to hear one more word about "Schnuggly-Boo-Boo-McFang-Face-_Fuck_", I'm gonna transport _Justin_ into the middle of the subway!'

'What?' Harper was confused, 'Is this about _Justin_?'

'_No, _it has nothing to do with mister-' her voiced morphed into a bad impersonation, '_I'm so great, Dad trusts _me_, Alex, he thinks _I'm_ responsible! _I- oh!' Alex cut herself off, 'My bad. I had the map upside down. Alright, then,' Alex rolled back her shoulders and gave her wand a shake. Harper tried her best not to shake Alex, '_Misguided directions we shouldn't have taken, hurry up and get us to Bergen Street Station - _wow, these forbidden spells are so super user-friendly!' Clearly she had no more to say about Mr. I'm-so- oh, you get it.

'Forbidden? A-' Just then the spell took effect. Sparks flew up the sides of the walls as the cart forced itself to a rapid halt, literally throwing the girls across the room, along with six tables and a number of other items Alex's father would not be pleased about having to replace - Alex was pretty sure she noticed a few things fly out through the open window.

From their position on the floor, neither Harper nor Alex knew what station they'd stopped at, or had time to think about the reactions of the waiting passengers through the pain of the many bruises they were going to have tomorrow, before they took off again, this time moving in the other direction.

When they'd stood up and brushed themselves off, Harper continued her line of thought. 'Alex! Forbidden? _Why _are you using forbidden spells?' Seriously, she wondered how many more times this evening she'd have to use Alex's name as a replacement for swears - because Harper Finkle just did not swear. It wasn't lady-like (seriously, ignore her use of the word 'bitch' earlier, it was a moment of rage-fuelled weakness and Harper is deeply regretful for it).

'It's not really a big deal when you have the right wand,' Alex said, walking back towards the front of the sub again, avoiding eye contact.

Harper sighed, following after her, 'And do you _have _the right wand?'

Alex sighed too, except it was more of an angry huff. 'No. _Apparently, _it's too powerful and I'm not responsible enough and I can't be trusted, unlike _some _people.'

Harper bit her lip. Boy, was this going to be a long night.

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><p>Meanwhile back at the Russo's place, Justin was seething. After hearing Alex use an unfamiliar spell and looking down to see a considerable section of the Sub Station just plain missing, along with both Alex and the still very-stalkerish Harper, Justin had stormed back upstairs in a rage.<p>

It wasn't fair! Alex just bent the rules, all the time, without thinking about any of the consequences or the effort it took for Justin to inevitably fix the messes she undoubtedly made - every single time. Sure, there were times when he'd worked with Max to make Alex's life a living hell - before, when it was the two boys versus the girl, rather than the two somewhat-normal kids versus their perfect older brother, when their magic lessons had just begun and they were equal. There had also been times when Alex had saved Justin, plenty of times - she'd helped him with his first kiss, weirdly enough, saved his life at Wiztech, she- but Justin didn't like to think about those times. So he made himself forget about them. Yes, Justin was _always _saving Alex's backside.

He wasn't scared of going into her room now. This would be revenge. He could pack later (Mum didn't approve of using magic on chores but his dad didn't mind, so that made it even).

Alex's room was... a flashback to the night he helped her with her flying lessons. A sentimental smile crept onto his lips - _no, now is not the time for sentimentality! _Pink, fluffy wallpaper; a bed like it came out of a fancy hotel; a _chandelier? _Justin shook his head. Alex's extravagance, and tastes, were just too foreign for him to comprehend. Where was the structure? The cleanliness? The- _Focus, Justin! _His time was limited, what could Alex have that she wouldn't want anyone to look at?

He opened drawers. Bracelets, an old MP3 player, a... half eaten sandwich gathering mould in the corner? Justin tried not to inhale - yeah, she was definitely Max's sister. He moved on. Tampons - he slammed that drawer shut; eyeliner from her punk phase back when he was dating Miranda - what had he seen in that girl, again? She had nothing on Juliet, his Schnuggly-Boo-Boo-McCutiekins. He was missing her so much, why did she have to be visiting relatives in Transylvania? The next drawer had Alex's diary in it but she'd been so humiliated with the whole Gigi episode - he was surprised she still had the thing. A trickle of guilt made Justin start to close that drawer, and spotting a necklace Dean had given her before he moved away made him move over to her wardrobe instead.

Maybe he could mess up Alex's clothes? Yeah! She'd hate that! _I'm a genius! _He started rummaging through her tops and dresses, chucking some onto the floor, doing his best to crease others - _ha! Now she'll have to iron! That'll teach her. _Justin seemed to have forgotten that they'd already learned a spell for that. All of Alex's clothing was enchanted with a no-crease spell. She loved how lazy magic let you be.

He looked down at the bottom of her wardrobe, hoping to find some neatly paired-up shoes to disorganise (like that was going to happen) when he spotted a box labelled _Justin's Favourite Things from his Room. _He gasped, 'I _knew _it! Alex!' Well, this was going straight back to his room, _thank you very much_, 'Room... broom... doom - my sister's thieving will lead to her doom? No, might be interpreted incorrectly. Ah! _My sister's place could use a broom, take the things she stole back to my room_,' he waved the family wand for the very first time - Justin usually objected to wasting magic but it had worked perfectly. The box was now empty. What else did Alex have lurking in here?

He opened another drawer at the bottom of her wardrobe and regretted it. Justin had forgotten how old Alex had gotten; in the drawer was her underwear - bras and... he would not say the word... delicates. A few were lacy and sophisticated - like Juliet's had been after Zombie Prom and they'd gone back to her bedroom, giggling in the darkness. Others were ironic, decorated with cartoons: Little Miss Naughty, Winnie the Pooh... Captain Jim Bob Sherwood.

His face was burning - had someone put a spell on him? He whipped round, half-expecting Alex to be there, laughing at him. Blushing alone shouldn't be able to have this much of an effect, it was spreading to his neck, his hands, his... all over his body. It was a different kind of burning now, Justin had realised, as much as he tried to tell himself that it was only embarrassment. He couldn't bring himself to close the drawer - but oh! _Of course! I'm missing Juliet - my brain thinks Alex's lacy things are her's! _Understandable but, for obvious reasons, extremely awkward.

Maybe he could... pretend that the underwear _was _Juliet's and- no! That would be sick! Unlawful! Sinful! Well, Justin supposed he was agnostic these days, science couldn't prove the existence of a God either way, but all those years of Sunday school weren't easy to forget. And, right, this was sick, sick! Justin stumbled backwards, pushing the drawer closed with his foot.

Why did Juliet have to be away? _Why? _Justin's stomach was churning with guilt and other emotions. He left Alex's room quickly, abandoning his search for revenge. He'd fetch her back from the trouble she was most likely in. Then it would be fine.

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><p>'Harper!' Alex cried, gripping on to her friend. They were going to die, they were going to die - <em>why am I so stupid? <em>Another train was scraping against the side of their cart, sparks going everywhere. She flinched every time one flew towards her, digging her fingers into Harper's arm and pressing herself against the back of the opposite wall.

They switched routes again and they both slid down to the floor, too relieved to speak.

A moment later, 'Seriously,' Alex breathed, 'who... designed this subway?'

They crawled along the floor. Harper just really hoped they could go home soon - her body, and mind, couldn't take much more stress.

'Oh my God,' Alex was standing, looking outside the window again. Harper joined her. She really didn't want to.

Ahead of them was a brick wall; _END _was painted on it in large letters, red lights flashing in warning.

'Ahhh!' they both screamed, gripping onto each other. Alex squeezed her eyes shut, waving her wand around frantically - it wasn't working, they weren't leaving, they were going to die!

They were going to- the sounds of the subway were gone.

Alex opened her eyes, not loosening her hold on Harper. They were back in her parent's Sub Station - the restaurant kind. They were alive! Harper was crying... or laughing, maybe both. 'I... did it,' Alex said, 'I can't believe I did it! I saved us! I can't believe it!' She wanted to cry too, she was just so happy.

'No, you didn't,' when Alex turned around - slowly, her legs were still shaking - she saw her brother standing there with his arms crossed, carefully composed, the family wand in his hand, 'I did.'

_Smug bastard.__  
><em>

'Oh, Justin! Thank you, thank you, thank you!' her friend had broken away from her, abandoned her for him (okay, so maybe it had been her fault that they almost died in the first place and maybe he _had _saved them - but it was still a betrayal, okay?). Harper had wrapped her arms around Justin's neck, clinging to him tightly - and maybe it was only because if she didn't, she'd fall over but Alex had to admire the girl for her persistence, trying to move in while the girlfriend was away. With Justin's ego, worshipping him _was _a pretty effective technique.

'Harper, don't _thank_ him,' Alex crossed her arms - she needed to interrupt before Harper started kissing his feet, 'he just did it so he can run off and _tell_ on me,' Alex didn't think she was sounding pathetic or petty at all, 'I'm sure he knew we'd been gone the whole time.'

Justin smiled as Harper returned to Alex's side, 'Okay, yeah, normally I would do that,' he turned to Harper, 'It's pretty funny when she gets all...' he made an impression of Alex's moody face, and Harper giggled, staring at him dreamily - until Alex glared and she stopped. Justin opened his mouth to speak again but then panicked - he needed a reason for not telling other than as a way to get rid of the guilt from his little mishap earlier, 'But... I- I'm not about to go tell Mum and Dad something that's gonna ruin their vacation one night before it happens,' _Like, for example, finding out their son had been going through their daughter's underwear drawer,_ he took a breath, 'For once, I'm not gonna let you destroy something important to me.' He tried to look superior, possibly overcompensating a little - because he certainly didn't feel like anything more than a sleazebag right now.

Alex shifted her hands to her hips, thinking, 'Then we're good - because they're certainly not gonna hear it from me.'

Justin walked around her to the returned subway cart, trying to avoid eye contact, 'And you know _why _they're not gonna hear it from me?'

Alex sighed, 'Didn't we just have this conversation?'

To be honest, Justin hadn't really been paying attention to most of it. 'Because I just did my first spell using a full-powered wizard wand,' that thing earlier with the box and Alex's room didn't count. Justin was erasing the whole event from his memory - not with a spell of course, in case he needed to remember why Alex's clothes were on the floor and her box of his stuff was missing, but figuratively speaking, completely and totally erased. Definitely.

And Harper, still standing speechless, idolising her saviour as he leant against the sub cart's wall, boasting to Alex, thought _Gee, I wish Justin would try that hard to impress _me_ - wait a minute, Juliet isn't here so... that means he _must _be showing off to impress me! Take _that, _Juliet! _making a little fist bump of success.

'It went perfectly,' Justin said, and blew on the wall to remove a speck of flint.

_Uh-oh. _All three of them looked up at the groaning noise coming from above their heads. They stood frozen in shock as the entire wall dislodged itself, Alex slightly yanking Justin back into the empty space as it came crashing down around them.

'Almost perfect.'

Then the lights fell down.

And the loose wires sparked electricity.

And their parents walked through the door.

'Well,' Harper chose to be the one to break the awful, colossal silence, 'see ya in P.E.!' - and then immediately ran out of the door Mr. and Mrs. Russo had just entered, despite the fact that school had just broke up and P.E. would not be for quite a while.

Alex looked at her parents, one hand still lingering on Justin's cardigan from when she had pulled him, and tried to smile reassuringly.

As she'd suspected, it didn't really work.


	3. Apologies

**A/N: **(Another one. Forget what I said about making this like a book - it's more like a magazine story with weekly installments. Hey, it's how all the authors did it in the 19th century!)

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm slightly late! I had an essay to finish, honestly, and you know my chapters are pretty long and I have to keep re-watching the movie scenes and- okay, I'll stop making excuses and hang my head in shame (still, come on, it was less than 24 hours over).

So thank you for your reviews, follows and favourites - it's nice to see some regulars building up, it's like I have my own little sandwich shop you keep visiting. I'd particularly like to thank **xemtlenc **for helping me to decide that Harper needs to be in the movie more!

With that in mind, following the film's themes of family, adventure and finding something (whether a stone or a stronger bond to the ones you love), I will be adding in a subplot in which Harper, lonely now that Alex won't be staying with her, goes on a cross-state adventure to reach her beloved Nana Franny (that's her grandmother, if you haven't seen episodes where she's mentioned) in either Florida, Texas, Hawaii or another state (there's still time to vote for which state via **the poll on my profile page** - the new deadline is the end of **Tuesday 7th October 2014 **because I don't think many more people are going to vote and I'd like to start my geographical research and whatnot).

Expect a short **bonus chapter** on Wednesday or Thursday introducing Harper's subplot. The next installment in the main storyline should, as usual, be up sometime next weekend.

Also, I'd just like to add that I welcome constructive criticism (you can always structure it good point, bad point, good point if you like), so please don't hesitate to review and let me know how I can improve. Or tell me what you like so I can keep doing it!

Thank you.

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>Once again there's some strong language and I'd say... very mild implied sexual content. A glimpse into Harper's sad home life (not cool, Disney, using that as a punchline for all those seasons) - and a good old bit of Google-translated Latin (yikes)._  
><em>

* * *

><p>'Justin.'<p>

It was ten at night in Waverly Place; the sound of traffic and police sirens outside blending into the atmosphere. After Jerry Russo had stopped hyperventilating and sputtering fragmented sentences in which 'Alex' and 'can't be trusted' had come up rather frequently, Teresa had called the insurance company and arranged for the more costly option - more sputtering - of having someone come over to fix the damaged sandwich shop immediately rather than risk using any more magic in one day. Considering the further cost to, and possible total annihilation of, the family business that could come as a result of Alex being left home alone for two weeks, it had been decided, or rather demanded, that unless Alex wanted to spend yet another summer at Wiztech (and this year the only place still available was that of janitor) then she had better have her bag packed and ready to go to the Caribbean by tomorrow afternoon.

Justin had returned to his room after washing the dishes to finish his own packing and also get one last piece of self-assigned homework done, if he did say so himself - after all, if Justin wanted to make it as valedictorian next year he needed to keep his brain active during the summer months too. He had hoped that dinner would be the last he'd see of Alex until tomorrow at least, if not forever, but the sight of her standing in his doorway fresh from the shower and dressed in pajamas which read _The only pi worth digesting is the blueberry kind _(brought with the intent to start arguments) made his hopes fall right down beyond the floor, beyond the earth's crust and into the centre of the earth.

He raised an eyebrow, not moving from his desk.

She crossed her arms, 'Did you go into my room?'

_Oh God._ Everything else fell out of him too. _She knows! She knows! She had cameras installed, she saw me, she's gonna tell Mum and Dad! _'Psh. Huh. I- well-'

Alex smiled, he sounded just like their father.

Justin took in her expression. Wait, Alex didn't look devious, or disgusted, enough to have that kind of blackmail material against him. He took a breath, regulating his heartbeat, he would not let her accidentally get information out of him for the millionth time, 'Come on, Alex, you- you sneak into my room all the time.'

And... he had just admitted that he _had _been in her room, hadn't he? _Nice one, genius _- he wanted to slap himself.

The world was silent, the noise of Manhattan gone, while she thought for a second, pushing out her lower lip. Justin found himself staring at it.

'True,' she said and his eyes snapped back to his work, 'but since half the work in packing _is _getting the stuff out of the wardrobe - and you're all taking me _hostage_ on this vacation since I "_can't be trusted"_,' she crossed her arms tighter and huffed, 'I guess all you did was make my life easier, huh Egghead?'

_Damn it! _Wait... this meant she really didn't know the horrible truth. He was saved! _Thank you, God- or, not God, if you don't exist! _Justin almost grinned before realising that he was supposed to be annoyed. Heck, he _was _annoyed. She still thought she could be trusted after almost getting herself and Harper _killed - again? _He got up and walked over to her, mimicking her body language. He was about to comment on her unprecedented levels of laziness and victim playing when he noticed the dark marks on her arm.

'Alex! What happened?' she was covered in bruises and he grabbed her instinctively. She winced. 'Sorry,' he said, readjusting his fingers to examine her more gently.

She rolled her eyes, 'I just fell over when that stupid spell backfired-' she switched subjects before he could start asking what spell it was and possibly find out that she still had _The Forbidden Book of Spells_ he thought was safely tucked away in his bag (_ha_), 'Jeez, Justin, could you _be _anymore of a mum? What, after this are you gonna tuck me into bed and kiss me goodnight?'

He couldn't stop himself from blushing, 'Do you want me to fix them or not?'

He slowly guided her over to his desk and motioned for her to sit down; she tilted her head back and moaned at the ceiling. _For fuck's sake, _you'd think she was dying. Sitting on the table instead and no doubt crumpling some of his papers, Alex waited for him to get on with it. He switched on his desktop lamp - he hadn't realised how dark it had gotten. The sudden light illuminated their hands, touching as he balanced her left arm in the air, and then he took out the family wand, _of course,_ Alex thought,and pointed it at the first bruise, '_Sentiat vulnus._'

Immediately she felt the pain start to ease as her skin began to return to its normal colour and the golden trail of magic worked its way along her arm - but she was pissed, okay? So she complained, 'Ugh. I should have guessed, this was just another chance for you to show off. _Oh, look at me and my precious family wand of trust and responsibility._'

She watched his eyebrows furrow. Good, she'd hurt his fragile feelings. 'This is the fastest way - the family wand is more powerful than mine, Alex, that's the only reason I'm using it. I wouldn't kick you while you're down like that.'

She was getting tired of holding up her arm so she rested its full weight into his hand before continuing, 'Oh please, we always kick each other when we're down - it's how you get ahead in this family.' She wasn't sure she agreed with what she was saying but she said it anyway.

He looked up, breaking his concentration and letting the pain return a little, 'I don't know why I'm even bothering to do this. I should have known you wouldn't be grateful.'

The last remains of Alex's smile disappeared, 'Huh. See? You're not doing this to be nice, you're just doing it so you can be worshipped _once again,_ so you can boast about how much better you are at everything, so you can make me thank you and tell you you're my hero just like Harper or Juliet,' she yanked her arm out of his touch roughly, causing her to wince again - the bruises hadn't fully healed yet, 'Yeah, I don't know why you bother either - you know I was only waiting to do this.' Alex hopped down from Justin's desk and pulled out her own wand.

She pointed it at his almost-fully-packed suitcase. A second later it exploded and his clothes fired out all over the room.

He was frozen, his arms still in the position they had been in when he had been holding her. He stared at his newly empty suitcase, slightly singed at the edges.

'Alex!'

'Fuck you, dork.' she kicked a fallen jacket out of the way and stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind her as loudly as possible.

Over in Max's room, the boy looked up from his own packing, _Hm, either Alex is mad again... or she's starting up a new band out of furniture instruments!_

* * *

><p>Harper did return the next day - but only after being convinced that Mr. and Mrs. Russo didn't hate or blame her for Alex's uncontrollable behaviour, after all, if <em>they<em> couldn't control their daughter, how could they expect Harper to? Sitting on her only real friend's bed, she watched the morning light filter through Alex's pink and purple curtains, casting patterns on the rug. Harper knew she wasn't very good at being independent; what was she going to do with her friend away in another country? She'd made so many plans - she was finally going to get Alex to go to that art and textiles museum downtown (in exchange Harper had agreed to go with her to Coney Island,despite Alex having already been banned from it twice, to watch in horror as she put a spell on the seagulls so that they'd all land their droppings on one unfortunate victim).

She was pulled out of her daydreaming of what might have been by Alex throwing another item into her suitcase, almost hitting Harper in the face.

'I'm really sorry you can't stay with me anymore,' Harper said. Alex was upset too, she just expressed it differently - by throwing things, mostly.

Harper dodged a boot as it flew through the air, hitting the wall behind her.

She glanced at her friend's arms, 'Hey, you've hardly bruised at all. We hit the ground so hard yesterday, I'm still gonna be black and blue when you get back,' she laughed nervously, 'Nana Franny always said I bruise like a peach, runs in the family I guess. She- this isn't helping to distract you, is it?'

Alex's shoulders slumped and she turned around, 'I'm sorry too, Harper, I'm just... in a really bad mood right now, I-' she chucked down the hat she had been holding as her anger bubbled up again, 'I was never _really _gonna get to stay with you, was I? She's been planning this all along, just _waiting_ for my innocent borrowing of the diner- I bet she didn't even have any problems with me going to that party! - just waiting to use it as an _excuse_ to make me go with them!'

Harper watched as Alex paced back and forth, twisting and distorting things. She really had to stop doing that - it just wasn't healthy to think that way, 'Alex, you know that's not true. You love your mum.' She hated it when Alex fought with her family. When she looked at the Russo's, she understood what family really was - her own mother wasn't around enough to worry about _her_ going to a party in Brooklyn or take _her_ to the Caribbean, not that it had to be the Caribbean, but the only travelling the Finkles would willingly do with their daughter would be the kind which involved endless rehearsals, endless shouting, endless _you'd-better-do-it-right-this-time-or-everything-will-be-ruined-again-because-of-you-Harper _and Harper lying in bed trying not to cry.

Alex stopped her pacing, unaware of the thoughts going on inside Harper's head but hating it when she gave her that look and made her feel all guilty, 'I didn't say that I didn't love her. I just... I just don't want to spend two whole weeks in full-on "family mode."' She made the air quotes with her fingers to accompany this.

Harper beamed, perking up instantly, 'Are you guys gonna wear matching outfits? If you'd said earlier I could have made-' then she noticed that Alex was frowning, 'I mean that would be... really bad.'

Meanwhile, Mrs. Russo had been down in the kitchen, checking that Max - or Jerry for that matter - hadn't left out any food to go rotten while they were away. The last thing they needed was to come back to a rat infestation, with Max's crazy improvisations with the menu their reputation was bad enough as it was. Speaking of which, she'd better go check he wasn't making any improvisations with his packing, _Oh, Maxie - _please_ bring enough underwear. _She didn't think she'd be able to stand the smell if he used the same pair of boxers for fourteen days straight.

She noticed Alex's door had been left partially open when she was almost past it. What? She knew it was wrong to spy on her kids but... they needed checking up on every once in a while, you know? It's a mother's job to keep her kids out of trouble.

They were talking about the day Jerry had given up his powers for her, 'I still can't believe he did that.'

Teresa frowned. How had she ended up with such an unfeminine daughter? She still hadn't fully understood Alex's refusal to have her own Quinceanera - not that she was complaining, she had had a fantastic night, well apart from the Justin... comment but- well, it was a strange night for everyone, no one was quite themselves that night - but for her not to understand why someone would want to sacrifice something for the woman he loved?

'I can. I love that story. It sounds so romantic.'

_Oh, Harper._ She really would be the one to take care of her and Jerry in old age. She decided to make her entrance, 'It was.'

Alex jumped slightly before turning her back to her mother, sulking.

'Do you need any help?' Teresa tried. She was only sixteen, after all - she remembered how much it hurt to have no independence. Maybe she had been a little too-

'No,' Alex tried to sound as mature as possible - it failed, 'I most definitely do _not_ need _your_ help.'

'Well,' Harper was feeling stuck in the middle again, 'see you in P.E.!' and once again, she made a dash for the door.

A little stung at the way Alex was behaving when she had reached out to her like that; shown her the kindness that she wished _her_ mother had shown her after she'd made mistakes - it had taken her a year and half to get over the fact that she was already pregnant when she married Jerry, Teresa looked at her daughter and said, 'Fine. But one of these days I just might not be there to offer it.'

'Mum.' Alex dropped her arms, and her defensive act, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.' Why was she capable of apologizing to everyone except Justin?

Teresa sighed - at least Alex seemed to be learning when enough was enough, 'I know what you meant,' she tapped the half-empty suitcase, 'Finish packing.'

Alex waved her wand and in a flash of light everything was neatly packed and ready to go, 'Done,' she smiled.

Teresa just stared. The girl really _didn't _know when enough was enough. Well, that was it. She was sick of magic and all the trouble it caused, she stepped closer to her daughter. Alex, not liking the look on her mother's face - it was slightly... satisfied, quickly undid the magic but it was too late, 'I hope you got it out of your system, because I've just declared this vacation _magic-free,_' she emphasised every syllable, 'Hand it over.'

Alex looked down at her mother's hand in horror. Seriously - always. Destroying. Her life.

* * *

><p>Jerry hated doing this. It just wasn't <em>him <em>to be all stern and _you-go-to-your-room-right-now-young-man_ with the appropriate finger waggling. Magic was in their blood, it wasn't right to stop them from using it - but his wife was right, if they wanted a real vacation, and not another fiasco, it had to be done.

Down in the restaurant he took a deep breath, 'So, I'm gonna need your wands.' He opened a hollowed out book already containing Alex's.

Max gasped, 'What? I can't give up my wand. Dad, there are so many spells I haven't even gotten a chance to do yet.' _Oh no,_ he'd thought he meant forever, this could only lead to-

'Goats?' Jerry didn't understand.

Max turned left, then right, staring at the crowd of goats now surrounding him because of the final spell he'd cast, 'What?' his face fell as if all of his hopes and dreams had been crushed - and maybe, for Max, they had been, 'They were supposed to be tigers.'

Now he'd never get a chance to offer people a free tiger ride with every _Max Creation_ (trademark) they purchased.

He made the goats vanish, defeated, before handing his father the wand.

Justin stepped closer to Jerry - surely this rule only _really _applied to Max and Alex, right? He just needed to use a bit of discretion, appeal to his father's senses, 'Dad,' he half-whispered, 'if I give you my wand, I'll only be able to do _hand _magic.' There was hardly any point in that.

Jerry sighed. Maybe it had been a bad idea to give Justin the family wand and spell book - now he thought he was the exception to every rule. 'The idea is _no _magic.'

_What? _'I can't just not do magic for two weeks - we're going to the Caribbean. That's one of the most magical places in the _universe_.' Justin would know, member of the Alien Language League, remember?

Jerry had opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

'This is because of _Alex, _isn't it?' _That little... _you know what? He was going to say it. He was going to say it - well, think it. _That little bitch. _It was a miracle that s_entiat vulnus _worked to heal the wounds of suitcases too, or Justin wouldn't even have anything to put his clothes in right now. She always ruins everything!

Jerry closed his eyes, 'Justin. It's not _always _because of...' he opened them; his son's face clearly wasn't buying it, 'Well, okay. Yes- just... give me the wand.'

He held out his hand.

Justin looked off into the distance, hand on hip, twirling his wand like a Wizard Captain Jim Bob Sherwood, fighting against injustice. _I _will _take a stand!_

'Come on.'

'_Come on_,' Justin mimicked his father. _Taking a stand._

'Give me the wand.'

'_Give me the wand._' _Fighting against evil little sisters everywhere._

Wait. For some reason his father didn't seem to think this was very mature - he could see it in his eyes, and... well everything about him really. He caved. He couldn't stand it if his parents thought he was childish, 'All right.'

Both he and Max crossed their arms simultaneously - but it was only Max who was sulking. Justin was showing his lack of agreement with having his rights as a U.S. citizen violated.

* * *

><p>Over the next two hours, the Russos finished their packing (which Teresa had told them to finish yesterday).<p>

_That's the _Wizarding Travel Guide to the Americas_ packed, _Justin thought in his room, 'Ah, sticky note to self... do not forget sticky notes - _of course!'_

He heard Jerry shout up, 'Okay, it's time people. Everybody ready?'

_And... _'Ready!'

Max, meanwhile, was trying to fit a fish bowl - fish included - into his suitcase. But there was no space for the toaster! _Well, _he shrugged, _who needs underwear? _And all those pairs his mother thought she had successfully snuck in while he was sleeping came flying out, lost forever in the cesspit that was Max's room. 'Ready!'

Alex, hiding the _Forbidden Book of Spells _under a cardigan, smiled to herself and yelled 'Ready!'

Then her mother came into the room to show her something.

_Oh God, she was going to kill Harper._

* * *

><p>Dressed in their matching outfits, courtesy of Harper J. Finkle, the Russos reluctantly posed for a photo - well, everyone was reluctant except Jerry, that is, who was clearly owning it, <em>M<em>_an, I look good in this shirt!_

'Tell me this is not the cutest thing you have ever seen?' Teresa asked.

'Ohh yeah-' then Justin looked at him, 'Sorry.'

Alex had said goodbye to a tearful Harper earlier and now all that was left to do was get in the taxi. The three Russo siblings stepped out into the daylight and grimaced as their mother started up on _that _story again, united by their hatred of that at least.

'Did I ever tell you the story?'

They dragged their suitcases out onto the street, trying to block her out.

'It was the summer after I graduated from college and- oh! Jerry, why didn't you hire a bigger taxi?' Thankfully, she had been thrown off by the small size of a seven-passenger people carrier.

'Honey, it was the biggest one available,' he leaned over to Max and whispered, 'believe me, if I had it my way we'd be _walking_ to the airport.'

'But where will my second suitcase go?' she crouched down, peering inside. Justin and Alex were already seated, hand luggage dividing them, 'Oh! We can put it here,' she gestured to where Alex was sitting, shooing her out of the way.

'Mum, this is where _I'm _sitting,' she wasn't giving up her seat for a stupid bunch of shoes and handbags.

'Oh, it's fine! Just... sit on your brother's lap,' Teresa was eager to get going.

Alex and Justin both inhaled sharply. '_No!_'

'Why not?'

Alex made a face, 'Because that's gross, mum - that's where Juliet sits when-'

Justin quickly cut her off, yanking her over the hand luggage and onto his lap as she squealed, 'Of course Alex can sit on my lap!' he grinned through the near-heart attack. Alex had walked in on himself and Juliet getting cosy in the lair on more than one occasion and he was not about to let her announce that to everyone, taxi driver included.

'Justin! Get off of me!' her dress had ridden up to her thighs and his hands around her waist felt like Dean's for a second. She squirmed violently.

Letting go of her - he didn't think his body would have no reaction if she kept squirming like that for the whole journey, he tried to give the driver, who was looking less and less certain about letting them stay in his taxi, a reassuring look.

'I know!' Alex said, 'Max can sit on Justin's lap!'

Max's head suddenly popped down in front of the window on Justin's side, giving him a second heart attack as he shouted, 'Really? Then I'd be taller than all of you! Thanks, Justin!' Max proceeded to open the door and crash heavily onto Justin's lap, no doubt causing some tissue damage.

'Well then,' Teresa smiled, having secured her suitcase and taken a seat in front of them, 'I guess that's sorted. Now, where was I? Oh! So, I had just ordered this papaya smoothie-'

'Guava!' everyone exclaimed.

Alex tipped her head back. She could tell already, she was going to have a _great _time. Not.


	4. Loneliness and Longing (Harper)

**A/N: **(Sorry the title's messy - I ran out of space. **Edit - **nevermind, I changed the title from 'Loneliness and Longing(Harper'sDecision)' to just 'Loneliness and Longing (Harper)', the lack of spaces was irritating me too much.)

Well, the results are in and they were unanimous (okay, to be fair only two of you voted - but you voted for the same option!): Harper is on her way to the Sunshine State - Cali- I mean, Florida (seriously, are they _both _the Sunshine State? Oh sorry, I googled it - apparently California is actually the _Golden _State)!

Can I also put this out there - how would people feel about me occasionally checking in with Juliet over in Transylvania? I have a soft spot for her, okay? So I don't want her to be heartbroken (hm, am I giving away totally obvious spoilers?) - or alternatively lied to if Justin didn't break up with her immediately, so I'm thinking she'll be feeling equally guilty about her relationship with Justin (I've pretty much decided why that is), so that they're both eventually happy with breaking the relationship off. Is everyone alright with that or are you not that keen on all the added subplots (next thing you know, I'll be writing Zeke a story, haha)?

Don't worry, this definitely won't overtake the main plot - we'll only be seeing what Harper's up to a few times, when it fits into the rest of the movie. I just love getting inside different characters heads and, hopefully, if you're a Harper fan you'll enjoy this. Plus it builds the tension - you have to wait longer for Jalex! *Evilini laugh* (Like my reference?).

P.S. Is it just me, or do I keep subconsciously putting in light and darkness imagery? Hm, I like it.

Thanks for your feedback so far - don't hesitate to give me any suggestions as they come to you!

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>There's actually no strong language this time (well, what did you expect? Alex isn't here), however Harper's parents are seriously neglectful (and verbally abusive) and Harper's loneliness and longing may just kill your heart - but, do not fear, the chapter ends on a happy note. Guest Starring Monotone Woman.

* * *

><p>Harper was sat at the kitchen table in her family's apartment. The light outside was getting dim, but she could still make out the orange flowers on the sixth Russo family outfit - the one made to her measurements.<p>

Of course she hadn't had the time to make five outfits overnight - Alex really had no concept of how long it took to create things, what with her wand acting like a microwave except on _everything_: what would have taken a wizard like Alex minutes to construct had taken Harper weeks. They were supposed to be a gift for when the Russos asked her to move in with them and be a member of the family (she'd be happy even if it wasn't through Justin asking her to marry him) - but why live in a fantasy world, right? That was never going to happen.

Harper sighed and the sound seemed to echo throughout the empty house. If she squeezed her eyes shut really tightly, then she could hear that turquoise-blue ocean of the Caribbean, see her new siblings goofing around by the pool, feel Teresa's arm around her shoulders as the two of them pose for a photograph.

_Harper Russo. _It sounded like happiness.

Her real parents were on tour again. She'd been tasked with making their outfits for the performances - they had so many costume changes in a night, it was no wonder that she could whip up an outfit for herself in the space of an evening. But she didn't want to make anything for her parents today, she'd tell them that the mail was delayed if they asked why nothing new had arrived at their motel in Las Vegas. They weren't due back for another month.

_Don't be such a moping Milly, Harper! You go out and have some fun, _she told herself. If people didn't _try _to be happy, then everyone would be miserable all the time... wouldn't they? She wasn't sure she had it in her to go out tonight - where was there to go? If Justin was still around, maybe he'd go to a silent movie with her again and she could pretend he was her boyfriend; maybe he'd propose to her and she'd really be able to move into the Sub shop after all and she could divide her time between Alex and Justin - because they'd both be fighting for her attention. And, _oh,_ she'd spend the evenings helping Mrs. Russo, _Oh, sweetie, call me Teresa. Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Russo- I mean, Teresa, why don't you go sit down and put up your feet - I'll finish making the dinner. _And she'd teach Max to apply logic to things, and she'd compliment Mr. Russo on his business and magic teaching - because she knew he sometimes felt like he wasn't a good father. And-

But Justin wasn't here either. Heck, even Juliet wasn't here - not that she really wanted to hang out with the girl who'd stolen her man and almost stole her best friend, but right now she'd really take anyone.

Harper could feel her eyes stinging and her throat getting sore and the ache in her chest getting stronger. She had an almost uncontrollable urge to cry. She couldn't cry though, if she cried it would mean everything wasn't okay - and things were always okay, as long as you kept a positive attitude and didn't let little things like your friend leaving and your family not giving one cent about your well-being get you down. It really wasn't anything to cry about, she was being silly.

She grabbed her coat and left, locking the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Out on the streets of Lower Manhattan, a sixteen-year-old dressed as a desert island (the skirt of her coat acting as the sand, her exposed legs the sea, her torso the trunk of a palm tree and her head, adorned in an elaborate hat, the leaves. Her earrings were coconuts) wandered aimlessly. She felt her outfit this evening complimented her feelings of isolation well, while giving outsiders the impression of exoticism and adventure - and eccentricity, always eccentricity.<p>

Harper found herself gazing out over the river - the other side seemed so far away. How many miles away were the Russos? Had they arrived in the Caribbean yet? Harper briefly considered calling Alex but the cost of calling cross-country would be too great. She could email? But she didn't know if the resort had free wifi - Alex's dad wouldn't be paying extra for it, and she couldn't see Alex bothering to get to an internet cafe anytime soon.

There was one other person who cared about Harper - but she was also many miles away. On her way here Harper had passed a travel agents, offering trips to Florida. Nana Franny lived there in Palm Beach these days. Harper could still smell apple pies and old-fashioned make-up powder when she remembered being hugged by her. Her Nana Franny was wonderful.

How many days was it until she'd be with people again? Fourteen? There were only so many conversations a crazy outfit could start - and most were single exchanges: _Amazing outfit! _a passer by would say, _Thanks, I made it myself, _she'd reply. And then they'd be gone. Of course not all of the statements were positive but it was no use sweating about those too much.

Would her Nana Franny let her stay with her? Her parents wouldn't care, as long as she kept making their outfits and didn't leave anything in the apartment worth being stolen. And Nana Franny was always pleased to receive guests - her cousins, down in Miami, visited all the time.

Would it be alright? Would it be that simple - to just get on a train and go? It was Friday today. She could be at her Nana's house by Sunday morning.

She rushed back to that travel agents as quickly as her outfit would allow without breaking (Harper couldn't ruin the illusion for others). She took it as a good sign that the store was still open at this time.

'Excuse me?' she said as a bell chimed, signalling her entrance, _here goes nothing,_ 'I'd like to buy a ticket to Florida!'

There was something familiar about the woman at the counter - her monotone drone and bored expression reminded Harper of somebody she'd seen at a hotdog vendor once, or was it at a department store? Or her short-lived job at that frozen yoghurt place? Or even at the art museum, actually- oh, never mind. 'Sure. Sounds fun. One ticket to Florida coming up.'

Soon Harper would be with family - family which actually loved her - and, for once, maybe everything would really be okay for real this time.


	5. Magic

**A/N: **Oh my! The chapters keep getting longer! This one was actually meant to end _after _the magician guy had introduced the Stone of Dreams but the chapter was already so long I had to move it to next week!

Hi, everyone! I hope this was worth the wait (I know this section of the movie isn't the most exciting but... I've think I've added some humour and tension, and you need to let excitement build up, you know?) - I think I'm going to permanently move my update time to Sunday evenings (GMT that is, so midday by FanFiction's clocks), so my chapters will either be early or on time instead of late! But! I've actually got the next three chapters (one is Harper-centric) all planned out! So fingers crossed they'll all be up on Saturdays (don't hold me to that). And... you know what? The Harper sub-plot has a surprise twist involving a certain person's appearance - any guesses as to who it is?

And yes! Giselle has a backstory in this! It just felt to me like the writers were too lazy to come up with something in the end, I mean... they kept hinting that there was a reason she was turned into a parrot as if it was going to be revealed and then they just... didn't bother to tell us. My backstory for her actually parallels the main storyline (well, the Jalexified one, anyway) - but in a tragic way. The Stone of Dreams is relevant - and so is her being turned into a parrot, rather than something else. As she's clearly able to think (the magician seems to be able to understand her - or is he just crazy?), events in the jungle will be triggering memories for her which we'll get to see - and her stealing the Stone of Dreams won't be only for selfish reasons.

Stay tuned to find out more!

Oh and... does anyone else find that song in the montage - something about a magic carpet ride - really, _really _catchy? It's stuck in my head!

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>More delicious implied sexual content (I cannot resist seeing those scenes differently in my head - plus, scenes which are both sexual _and _humorous? Best. Thing. Ever.) and strong language and some comic violence in the form of Max making a man float in the air which, in real life, would most likely result in some serious injury when he fell. Yeah... sometimes the Russos are slightly sadistic.

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><p>Their mother had <em>not<em> shut up for the entire journey. _Papaya_ this, _random Spanish_ that - for five and a half hours straight. Alex huffed, fanning herself against the sweltering midday heat of Puerto Rico - she'd tried to get Justin to fan her instead but the asshole had refused. You'd think he was King of the Dorks or something. _Oh wait, he is._

They were all gathered around the door to their hotel room at the resort, Jerry fumbling unsuccessfully with the key. _How long does it take to open one freakin' door?_ Alex had to get out of this heat - all she wanted to do was turn up the air conditioning, turn on the TV and order a truck-load of room service.

'Almost... got it now,' Jerry said between his teeth. He was starting to go red in the face beneath the sweat pouring down his forehead. Alex could see the marks the sweat had already made on Harper's shirt, creating a V-shape of dark orange down his back and two more on his armpits. _Gross. _That cute activities counsellor, Javier, had no doubt thought her family were a bunch of freaks. How old was he? In his early twenties, maybe? The way he smiled at her... oh, he was definitely into her. Maybe _he _could be her holiday activity-

'Oh, just give it here!_ Aye yai yai_, Jerry!' And within seconds of Teresa snatching the key out of Jerry's hands, they were all piling into the room.

Justin sighed audibly, 'Thank you, Mum!'

Jerry made a small noise which sounded something like a puppy being told off for urinating on the floor.

Alex pushed past Justin. _Hm, _their room wasn't bad - tiled floors, wooden furniture, a balcony with a great view: very tropical resort-y. It would make an excellent TV-watching cave for the next two weeks. But wait, there were three beds in here, 'Don't we get our own rooms?'

'Your father and I will be sleeping in here,' Teresa giggled, motioning to another room through a door (_Ugh, _Alex moaned internally - and they'd thought the journey here was bad, with all their disgusting cuddling and cooing), 'And you'll be sleeping here. See,' she spread her arms, gesturing around the large room, 'there's plenty of space - you'll just have to learn to share, that's all.'

Jerry laughed but cut himself off when Teresa raised an eyebrow.

'But Mum,' Justin had been clutching his suitcase tightly while she'd been explaining this. Noticing this, he quickly let go and stepped around it, rushing forward to half-whisper, '_where will Alex get changed?_'

Jerry, also hearing this, replied, 'Justin, there is a bathroom, you know.'

'Besides - she's just your sister!' Teresa laughed, 'You think I'd let you co-habit with some random girl by the pool out there?_ It's fine._' Maybe she'd instilled the values of modesty and chastity a little _too _strongly in her eldest son. She patted Jerry on the arm, 'Come on, we'll leave you to unpack - don't take too long!'

And with that she started up again on her quite-frankly-frightening displays of public affection, rubbing her nose against Jerry's before exiting into their bedroom.

'Well,' Alex had her arms crossed, her back to the window.

Justin noticed the backlight, what with the lights being off in the room, highlighting the outline of her legs beneath her dress. _Thank Captain Jim Bob Sherwood I can't make out anything else, _he was tempted to grab her arm and pull her out of that probing light but- _oh right, she's talking._

'I hope you two losers realise that I'll be taking this for my stuff,' she slammed her hand down on top of the dressing table, 'Oh. And that,' she pointed to the set of drawers by Justin's bed, 'And that,' she pointed to Max's, 'Actually, just...' she waved her arms around, 'all of these.'

Max looked confused - or maybe that was just because his vision was blurred beneath the snorkel and goggles he was already wearing, despite being a considerable distance from the nearest source of water (unless he was planning on using the bath - okay, so he definitely was), 'But Alex, how can you need that much space?' He stared at her suitcase, which she had unzipped on her bed, trying to work it out.

Alex glanced up from where she was already starting to unload clothing into Justin's drawers, 'Oh, you know, girl stuff, Max - it needs more space than boy stuff,' she nodded slowly to make the claim more scientific.

Justin snorted, now he had_ his_ arms crossed, 'Do you always have to manipulate Max like that?' he threw a hand towards him, motioning up and down, 'Look at him - the kid's trying to go scuba diving _in a bathtub.' _

Max, rather than interpreting this as an insult, took it to mean that he was too inventive to deserve to be the victim of Alex's scheming.

'But Justin,' Alex's pitch went up an octave and got all small and fragile and her lip quivered, 'I really do need the space. Otherwise this might happen.'

And then she grabbed something, positioned her hand as a slingshot and catapulted it into his face.

Justin's mouth opened and closed, his brain couldn't process what had just happened - did he really have Alex's panties on his head?

Justin, Alex and Max remained absolutely silent for approximately one point four seconds. Then Alex and Max simultaneously burst into laughter, clutching at their stomachs.

'Oh my God, Justin,' Max chucked out, in between ragged breaths, 'they match your Captain Jim Bob Sherwood pajamas!'

Alex gasped for air, 'He should-' she broke into laughter again and collapsed onto her bed, staring at Justin upside-down (who was turning an interesting shade of cranberry pink), 'You should wear them over your pants - like Superman!'

Max erupted into giggles again, wiping at his eye. Alex waited for Justin to start whining that Superman and Captain Jim Bob Sherwood were completely unrelated.

He didn't.

'What's got-' she bit her lip to stop laughing, 'what's got your panties in a twist, Egghead?'

'Ahaha! She got you there, Justin!' Max shouted.

Justin, whose face was burning hotter than the pavement outside, inhaled sharply through his nose to get himself under control - _no! _He was most definitely not inhaling for any other reason! He unballed his fists. He could not believe that he was feeling things he should not be feeling _in front of them, in the face of humiliation!_ because that would just be adding yet another level of depravity on top of everything else - Justin did not find humiliation... exciting! But the fact that the humiliation was not overriding his other feelings - that was not good.

He ripped the highly dangerous weapon off of his head and dropped it into Alex's suitcase, trying to look disgusted. She was still smiling at him. She was enjoying this!

He swallowed hard; in that moment he really, really hated her, 'Well I, for one, can't wait to get out of here and go exploring all the magic historic sights,' he snatched up his travel guide, waving it over her from her position on the bed, 'then, I'll be able to see both of you on this vacation as little as possible,' he paused and his voice turned very cold, 'especially you, Alex.'

'Hey,' Teresa had returned - judging from the deathly silence following all that noise, she was kicking herself for not making Jerry pay the extra cost for separate bedrooms, '_what_ is going on?'

All of her children were starting to leave, she moved in front of the door, 'Where's everybody going?'

'Snorkelling,' Max was actually trying to get to the bathroom, not the door. He had to train: 'Once you can get used to swimming in a fish's toilet bowl,' he slapped Justin on the shoulder as he passed him - he'd get over it, him and Alex always made up, 'it's awesome.'

Teresa turned to Justin, she was sure that out of all her children, he wouldn't be disobeying her wishes.

He pressed his mouth into a thin line, then pointed to his book, 'To see the ruins - the most important battles of the first and third troll wars were fought there.'

He could have sworn he heard Alex snigger, 'Well,' she said, 'I don't know where I'm going - just away from here.' Trust Justin to throw a tantrum and ruin her plans for a made-for-TV movie marathon. Her mood was ruined.

'No, no, no!' their mother exclaimed, 'This is a _family _vacation.'

And then their father entered the room - apparently he thought sunblock was tribal warrior paint.

'Your mother's right,' he agreed with her as always, 'We should be doing everything together.'

Alex raised her eyebrows - he could not be serious, 'With you?'

He nodded.

'In public?'

He nodded again.

'Looking like that?'

He nodded so enthusiastically you could see specks of sunblock flick off around the room, 'So we're all in agreement, then.'

* * *

><p>After a busy day, Teresa and Jerry stood on the balcony of their room, gazing out at the moon in its position over the ocean, the salty breeze blowing both the palm trees and Teresa's hair. Jerry, with his arm around her, knew that this was cheesy, corny - heck, any food-related adjective which could be used to describe this romantic cliché, but hey - they were happy.<p>

'I think the kids might actually be starting to get along again,' he smiled, looking at his wife.

'Hm, we'll see.'

They'd agreed that, since everyone wanted to do different things, they'd just have to take it in turns to choose an activity, and so they'd gone snorkelling - Max's idea. After Alex had knocked them all into the water (needless to say, Justin had not been impressed to look up and see Alex flipping her hair and making her so-called sweet-and-innocent face at that hotel guy - he got water up his nose and almost drowned for_ that_?), Jerry and Teresa had decided to sit out during the rest of the water sports_ fun_. As far as Teresa could tell, the kids' athletic abilities always seemed to fail just when there was an opportunity to splash somebody or knock somebody else into the water.

'Wouldn't it be nice if this vacation really ended up helping them to bond? I think we made the right decision,' Jerry squeezed Teresa's shoulder. Standing here, like this, he knew that, given the chance, he'd give up his powers all over again.

'Yes, Jerry, it would be nice - but don't get your hopes too high, I thought we only had Alex to worry about - but apparently _none _of our kids like spending time with us!' she rested her head on his shoulder, 'Parenting, huh?' she sighed, 'You'd better go check on them. They might still be up.'

Jerry said he'd be back in a moment and went inside. Teresa worried too much, the kids were fine - he counted three sleeping forms in their room, found himself getting a little tearful at how much they'd grown (he remembered when they could all fit in one bed), sniffed a little and ran out again before he started wailing. Now Teresa would have to spend a good thirty minutes just getting him to calm down.

Under the sheets, everything was not as it seemed (really, as a former wizard Jerry should have realised this). Hidden from view, Justin had taken out the family wand, unable to resist using it - if he was being banned from bettering his wizarding studies through studying magic history, then he had no choice but to actually practice some magic. That was the only logical answer. He cast a wordless light-emitting spell, feeling the buzz of energy in his fingertips where the magic concentrated itself for this. A white vapour of light grew out of the end of the wand, creating dancing shadows in the same way that water does. One of the exciting things about learning a new spell was that you never knew where the magic was going to bundle itself in your body - it varied from wizard to wizard. Max always said he felt this spell in his toes, Alex her stomach... he swirled the light in a figure eight, it had turned pink. As he remembered earlier, with Alex's... private item, and her laughing at him, the light morphed into a dark blood red, making it harder to see his hand. But there was also her hair spilled out across the bedsheets, the same way she'd lie on the couch at home and just wait for him to adjust her to accommodate himself, squeezing into a gap and having to touch her far more than if she'd just move, and then she'd pretend to be asleep so she could snuggle up to him... the light changed to a bright purple and sparkled. He was captivated, moving it in wider loops, raising his elbow to make more space.

'Hey, Justin,' he froze as Max's voice whispered too loudly to make it even worth whispering.

_O__h no_, had Max figured out that he'd brought the wand? He didn't reply. He would have to pretend to be asleep.

'Justin,' he spoke louder, 'are you... jerking off?'

Justin gasped and started coughing - he'd breathed in his saliva, 'No!' he spluttered.

'Ew!' Alex called out from the other side of the darkness, 'Justin, we've got to sleep in here too!'

'I'm not jerking off!' How many more times would they embarrass him today?

'Oh, sorry, what are you doing then, Justin? Playing with your _wand_?' Alex laughed.

_Crap._ He couldn't actually admit that. And yet he couldn't lie without Alex realising - she was too good at deceiving people herself to be caught out by others, 'Well then, what are _you _doing up in the early hours of the morning? I didn't take _you_ to be an early-riser, Alex.'

'I'm...' under her covers, Alex still had open the _Forbidden Book of Spells _- she was up to a particularly interesting part about spells to annoy know-it-all older brothers, 'reading.'

Justin's voice laughed - she didn't need to see his smug expression to know he was wearing one right now, 'You? Reading? Tell me Alex, what exactly are you reading?'

_What exactly are you jerking off to? _She almost retorted - except, you know, Max's scrambled egg of a brain might interpret that as actual interest. And the last thing their mother needed to hear was that Alex was asking Justin for tips on how to satisfy her night-time urges. _Oh! _She knew exactly how to wind him up, 'Oh, just one of those books Mum hides underneath the couch that she thinks we don't know about - you know, the ones with the shirtless pirates on the front?'

There was a pause. And then, 'Ew, Alex, that's disgusting-'

'It sounds awesome, Alex,' Max cut in, 'all the best pirates are shirtless - can I read it after you?' Max himself was set for the night - he'd found a way to drink soda out of his snorkel, he had his fish in his fish bowl to keep him company, and he was currently just finishing up one of Justin's old comics (it had a sticky note on the front which said _Mint Condition _on it - but it was okay because Max had made sure that he only ate mints while reading it, so all the fingerprints and smudges were made with mint residue to keep it intact).

_Great, _Alex thought, _so now I need to find a spell to conjure up some sea-themed erotica for my freak of a brother, _'Sure, Max.'

She realised now how lucky she was to have her own room at home.

* * *

><p>The morning light streaming into their room had not woken Alex - oh no, she had been woken up at the ungodly hour of eleven o'clock to join the family for Justin's activity: historic sights. Justin himself was refusing to accept this as <em>his <em>activity, as these were just ordinary artefacts of Puerto Rican history, not troll battlefields, and he would settle for no less, so - to keep the peace, as Justin would no doubt be disappointed if they skipped the historical stuff altogether - Teresa had accepted it as her activity (as long as it involved family photos, she was happy) and she had also bargained Jerry into accepting his activity as the market she wanted to visit (Jerry was happy because it had food stalls and cheap souvenirs). And so this was how the Russos had ended up in a market on a cobbled street in the early afternoon, earlier than expected as, in his boredom, Max had stolen one of the guard's helmets and essentially gotten the entire family banned from all historical sights in the country for the foreseeable future.

'_Muchas Gracias_!' Teresa said as another innocent victim was finally able to escape after being stopped to take another five thousand pictures of the family.

As they walked among the stalls, Alex attempting to hide her face with her sunglasses as much as possible in case Javier was here and saw her hanging out with her mum - _so not cool_, Teresa hooked her arm around her daughter's, asking endless questions and - _oh wonderful! She's at it again! '_You know what? Your dad and I walked these very streets on one of our very first dates.'

_Ugh, '_It must have been nice when it was new.'

Her mother let go of her arm - if there was one thing she couldn't tolerate, it was when people implied she was old, 'Hey.'

Alex had continued walking. She stopped and turned around, lowering her glasses.

'This attitude of yours? _That's _what's getting old,' she was mad, very mad - her hands were on her hips.

Where had her dad gone? He never told her off - just spat out random words for a few minutes and then gave up. Alex sighed, maybe she _was_ being a bit... overly grouchy, after all she_ was_ sleep-deprived, having stayed up all night reading spells and trying not to wonder if Justin was still being gross in the bed next to her, 'I'm sorry. It's just... memory lane is turning out to be the longest road _ever,_' Wow. That was a good metaphor - no wonder she was so good at make-'em-ups, but right, her point, 'When are we gonna do something _I _want to do?'

Max had already had his turn and so had Justin - even if the sulky two-year-old wouldn't admit it.

Teresa thought about this for a second, 'You're right. You're right, we haven't got to do something you want to do. You get to choose next, all right?' _Please don't slap my hand away again when I'm offering it to you._

Alex smiled - Teresa had forgotten her daughter could do that without it looking menacing, 'Did I mention Javier teaches windsurfing?'

_Oh, chasing boys. _Teresa understood - Jerry may not look it now but _Dios mío, _was he a catch back in the day. Maybe she really would be able to bond with Alex on this vacation.

'Teresa, look!' the man himself tapped her on the shoulder, grinning.

'Oh! My favourite earrings!' Teresa, being the type of person easily distracted by shopping, gave Alex a quick smile and then wandered over to the stall with Jerry.

Alex rolled her eyes. Still, at least she'd be getting to spend some quality time with Javier soon - things were definitely looking up. Alex supposed it was time to see what Dork and Dorkier were up to, huddling around a book a little further down the street.

'Dude, check it out!' Justin was showing Max a page in his precious travel guide, '_Top One Hundred Must-See Wizard Sightings _on the island!' As he sensed her presence, his tone changed, 'Hm, I wonder why we haven't been to any yet-'

_Oh joy, Mr. Sarcastic is here._

'Wait. I know,' he spun around on his heel and took down his sunglasses, meeting Alex's eyes directly.

_Woah. That was... weird. _His stare had been really intense and Alex had felt a strange kind of jolt - sort of like butterflies except from the ridiculous heat in this stupid place or from the weirdness of Justin actually having the guts to look her in the eye and - like a cat being challenged - risk her attacking him.

Max had always found their weird fight-flirting pretty boring (yeah, he called it that - his friends thought that, being Max, he must not understand what flirting actually _meant _when he had mentioned it before and so they had spent the next few weeks teasing him about his family being seriously messed up. Max hadn't got the joke), since it basically involved ignoring his existence, so at this point he left them too it, looking for some mischief to make.

He didn't think they'd notice he'd gone.

'Have a good sleep?' Alex asked all falsely-innocent and layered with double meanings as usual.

Justin snorted, putting his glasses back on, 'I did, thank you.'

'Mm, still missing Juliet?' she grabbed his arm as they walked, leaning in, '_Oh! Justin! Harder!'_

Justin tried to ignore the tingling in his stomach.

'And then... she leans in and bites your neck,' she mimed this, putting her face very close to his body, 'draining all your blood,' she drew back, 'And then you die. Ha.'

Justin rolled his eyes - _another vampire jab? _'Very mature, Alex,' she was still grabbing his arm, 'But that doesn't change the fact that it's your fault we won't be broadening our knowledge of our magical heritage now.'

_And that's a bad thing? _'Oh, boo hoo. You want magic?' she unhooked her arm from Justin's to point - and for some reason he didn't find this a relief, 'There's your magic.'

A sorry excuse for a street magician was attempting to wow a crowd a few stalls down. The two siblings approached him, trying not to laugh. It was a poor imitation of any real magic.

He was whispering to his parrot - it had messed up the trick apparently, '_It's the- the one I'm shoving in your mouth,' _it seemed reluctant to take it and so he turned back to address the audience, holding up the card himself, 'The eight of clubs! Amazing! What do you say? Pretty amazing is what I say.'

Justin leaned into Alex, mocking him, 'Pretty pathetic is what I say.'

She giggled - see? Making fun of people is a good thing. It helps other people to bond. She didn't get why Justin didn't see that this was what she was _trying _to do everytime she pranked him. _Hello?_ Attempting to build good relationships with people, here.

Meanwhile the magician was still attempting to persuade people to tip him - extremely unsuccessfully. Just as Alex was about to whisper something back, Max rudely barged through, shoving his brother and sister apart, 'You know what the problem is with you two?'

For a second, both Justin and Alex felt a stab of guilty panic.

Max continued, 'You don't know how to make your own fun.'

Alex crossed her arms - when did Max turn into _Justin the Show-Off_? She had to see this.

Max slicked back his hair and stepped in front of the magician, 'Excuse me, sir?' _So he has a falsely-innocent voice too! _Justin thought, 'I'd like to volunteer.'

Alex and Justin glanced at each other. This would not end well.

Max was clearly trying to mess with the poor guy's mind and yet, Alex looked at her other brother,_ Mr. Moral-Fibre_ (she has a lot of names for him, all right? And the mister thing - it's definitely not a sign of respect or submissiveness. As if.) was doing nothing about it. _Hm, _she smiled - she must be rubbing off on him.

By this point, the magician was floating several feet in the air and looking rather panicked - was Max _trying _to get them discovered?

Two gasps (well, a gasp from Teresa and a jumble of syllables from Jerry) alerted Alex that her parents must also be thinking along these lines, and several seconds later they had rushed in, grabbing Max and unfortunately causing the balloon to pop. Alex gripped Justin's arm - she didn't really want to see squashed magician today - but amazingly the performer managed to fall into a perfect roll, standing up uninjured and trying to pass the whole thing off as intentional. _Huh._

'Come on, we're leaving,' Jerry said to the two of his kids who were actually behaving (that was something he never thought he'd use to describe Alex), dragging Max away as quickly as possible before he tried anything else.

None of the Russos paid any attention to the magician desperately trying to talk to them as they left.


	6. Anger and Misunderstanding

**A/N: **Ah, this one was really, really, really long! Oh well, it wasn't worth losing the flow of the chapter to break it up even more plus I think the end sections turned out the best, so I wanted to post them now. It has a dramatic ending, which I like.

So... you're still reading this story, clearly. You can see me, writing this, and I can see you (on my little data graph of evil). I have a favour to ask of you though. Yes, you there, lurking in the shadows without an account. I totally get it! I mean, I did that for over a year and I am very much an anti-social hermit who finds talking to actual people, rather than imaginary characters, kind of as scary as Professor Crumbs' beard (and don't think he has that name for no reason, I know his beard is fake and all but seriously,_ the guy doesn't take it off to eat - or wash_). Anyway, if you _would_ like to make an account on here and follow my story so you know when it's been updated and review so I know your opinions and blah blah blah, it would be really awesome to be able to interact with more of my readers. Come on, you know you want to! I want you to. Please? You won't have to reveal any personal information - your double life starts now!

And, of course, a massive thank you to everyone who has already reviewed, followed or favourited - you motivate me to keep to a mostly-consistent schedule and remind me that I'm not alone in this dying fandom!

Anyway, back to the story.

In my version of the movie, Alex accidentally casts the spell on her mum in the _evening, _not the daytime, because, duh - sunset; more magically intense; _Shrek? _and you know you want her to go to that party on the beach before everyone gets caught up in all that _uh-oh-our-parents-don't-remember-us _stuff, and you know you want Justin to be involved in it somehow, am I right? Well, lucky you, that's just what happens in chapter eight (but first we're checking in on Harper - I'll try to get that up on Thursday again but if it turns out to be longer than last time... it may replace the Jalex chapter for next week - no, don't hit me! I'll include Jalex undercurrents, don't worry).

Also Archie, the magician, doesn't have a surname in the movie so, as the actor Steve Valentine is actually Scottish, I have selected the eighth most popular Scottish surname for him (according to Wikipedia): Anderson. I like alliteration.

See you soon!

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>Strong language (no points for guessing the culprit), some sexual humour from people misinterpreting situations and being attracted to parrots, some disturbing and sexual imagery coming from the devious mind of Alex (we're talking necrophilia here, people) and... yeah, just... yeah. Do you really want to know any more? Lots of implied stuff, basically, okay? By the way, a succubus is a female demon that seduces men and has sex with them while they're sleeping. Oh, Justin, stop researching things. Please.

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><p>When you grow up with six siblings each hitting puberty (and hence causing havoc with their magic) in quick succession, you sort of get used to being levitated six feet off of the ground. You learn how to get <em>back <em>to the ground without breaking any bones, at least - the hard way, Archie might add; his left knee cap had never been quite the same after his younger brother Rob had turned twelve and a half and sneezed a hurricane. Needless to say, Mother Nature had not been happy about it.

Archie had also never forgotten that unmistakeable tingle of magic in use. It was subtle but its fifteen-year absence from his system had only heightened its attraction. It hit him like a drug, a giddy kind of feeling which made it both harder to focus and easier to at the same time, so long as the thing he was focusing on was how to get more of that magic pulsing through his blood and manipulating his flesh.

But even with his near-perfect landing, by the time he'd brought his act to a close, collected the most tips he'd ever received and scrambled his things together to escape _la policia,_ who were giving him some serious warning looks, the wizarding family which had finally popped into his life out of nowhere were, well, nowhere to be seen.

Giselle squawked.

'Yes, yes, I know - but it's hardly my fault, is it? What was I supposed to do?' He had been dodging tourists and civilians in the blazing sun for several minutes now, making his way closer to the resort he always tried to work near - tourists were the easiest targets for making good money, or at least enough to buy lunch with, because the locals certainly didn't think much of his lousy, half-baked tricks.

A woman gave him a worried look as she passed, dragging her child away. He _was_ talking to a parrot after all and there are a lot of negative stereotypes about involving _crazy _and _dangerous_.

He rolled his eyes, _Some people_.

This was not good - where were they? They'd been there, _right there, _Giselle had been waiting for so many years and here was their chance and they'd _missed _it. _Come on, come on, come on, we can't have lost them- _

There! There, definitely there! A slightly balding man, his suspiciously attractive wife (if the guy was rich, maybe he could get some cash out of them at the same time) and their mish-mash of... were they all their children? Or were the older two dating? He hadn't actually realised they'd been with the boy trying to ruin his routine but-

Giselle let out a second series of angry squawks, right in his ear - _ouch! _'Okay, okay - I'm going!'

The magician sprinted up to the family, who were making their way towards a hire car. Over the sound of the crashing waves of the sea beside them, he heard the boy speak rather too loudly 'I promise you, nobody's gonna figure out that we're wizards.'

'You're wizards!' Archie immediately exclaimed, too excited to start with an introduction. His lungs burned with the exertion of all the running but he barely noticed: he had finally caught up to them. He was finally close to magic again.

The father froze, finger still pointed and mouth still open, half-forming the lecture dying in his mouth. Actually the whole family had a bit of an _oh shit _look to them. Archie waited._  
><em>

'Uh...' the man with the thinning hair's hand slowly sunk down, 'What? No! Haha,' he made some elaborate hand gestures and glanced nervously around at his family to see if they were laughing along too. They weren't, so he started shuffling them towards the van, 'That's funny. But we are...' his hand on the son's shoulder shoved him along, 'most definitely...' they were almost there now, 'not...' his wife was digging for the key in her handbag.

Archie felt Giselle's feet claw into his shoulder, warning him not to buy it - he wasn't the brightest bulb in the factory. He wriggled his shoulder, he wasn't _that _stupid, 'Don't even try it,' he stepped in front of them again, trying to look friendly - the look on the mother's face told him that he looked a little more like creepy-serial-killer-posing-as-a-friendly-guy-in-need-of-a-lift_._ _Damn it._ He needed to switch tactics, _tell 'em a little bit about yourself, Archie - yeah, that'll do, _'You think if I could actually do that trick, I'd be hustling tourists for loose change?' He lifted his hat and a few coins fell out. He'd have to come back for those later. Honest, modest - should work, right?

The woman looked even more nervous, poking her head between the man and the young boy and shrugging quickly, 'Hidden talents! Afraid we're in a hurry though, come on, kids,' she motioned to the rest of the party, '_let's go._'

_Go? _'What? No, no, no, wait! I-' _W__ait a minute, _'Wait!' Archie slapped himself on the forehead, getting a small snicker out of the girl who hadn't spoken yet, apparently not wanting to get involved, 'I forgot to tell you the most important part!'

He was sure if parrots could role their eyes, Giselle would be rolling her's enough to look like she was having a seizure - _bloody bird. _Huh, must have been weird for her having to adapt to all that new anatomy like that- _oh, right! _They were all staring at him, wondering if he was going to actually _tell them _the important part.

'We're wizards, too!'

The dark-haired man-boy (Archie wasn't very good with ages. Was the trouble-making kid... eight, maybe?) snorted, crossing his arms. It would appear that Archie had offended him, somehow, '_You're_ wizards?' he glanced over at the girl he was with, raised eyebrow just visible above his sunglasses, 'I don't think so.'

_Alright, Mr. I'm-so-much-better-than-you, with your five-star resort and your magic and your possibly-under-age-or-maybe-twenty-five girlfriend-sister whose family lets you go on vacation with them. _Archie imagined that he was the kind of guy people had a_ lot_ of nicknames for, 'Well, we're not wizards _now. _I mean, obviously,' did _everyone _think he was a complete idiot? 'Yeah, but we were. I swear!' he raised a hand, almost knocking Giselle off-balance while she saluted too, 'Wizard's honour.'

The family looked sceptical. It was a good thing the waves were drowning out most of their speech if they wanted him to go into this much detail about the wizard world, in front of all these non-magical tourists. Come on, _he _was the stupid one?

He sighed, 'I was born a wizard but I lost out at the family wizard competition to my know-it-all older brother, so now I work here, on sub-minimum wage, under the nose of fellas like that over there.' He gestured to the policeman who was giving him the eye again. No, he wasn't harassing tourists this time - no one was getting bullied into a largely-inaccurate tour of the area, thank you.

He realised the two youngest (at least he thinks they were the youngest) were smiling, 'I know the feeling_,_' they said simultaneously and then pulled a face at each other for stealing their line.

He wasn't sure they did. Competing with six other wizards, the oldest of which was almost thirty by the time their baby sister turned eighteen, was kind of on a whole other level to battling just one or two - how were the rest of them supposed to compete with the guy who'd had twelve extra years to hone his skills in? Anyway, 'And the poor, lovely Giselle here,' he gestured to her on his shoulder, 'was transformed into her current feathery state by an evil- _ow,_' he flinched as she bit down hard on his finger, silencing him, 'Okay, not telling that part of the story.' He smiled through the pain, hoping that they all believed him now.

They were all nodding enthusiastically, 'Well,' the father grinned, slapping his hands together, 'it was nice running into you and good luck with the whole...' he flapped his hands a little, 'magic thing - your "pick a card", _it's great!' _he practically squeaked. Then his smile fell, he'd run out of juice, '_Everybody into the van.'_

_Oh, for Christ's sake! _Did they have to duck like that? There were no tables, he could quite clearly _see _them hastily running around him - you at least need a crowd to pull off that one, Archie knew. He turned around, watching them trying to pile into the vehicle as quickly as possible.

'Wait!' Archie dropped his suitcase, almost losing Giselle as well as he darted forward - the man-boy hadn't got in yet, 'I could, er-' _what did man-boys in fedoras like? Profile, profile - use your street skills, Archie, _'I could show you some of the wizarding sights. I'm also an excellent, reasonably-priced tour guide,' by which he meant bullshitter. Okay, so now he _was_ bullying people into tours.

_Damn, _what was he thinking? The guy was trying to look _cool, _in that hat and those glasses, there was no way he'd be interested in-

He actually took his hastily constructed business card (good thing Giselle had a marker pen on her - don't ask). _Wow. _Man-Boy put his sunglasses away, 'That actually sounds pretty cool,' he turned back to the others, he had a _book _out, 'I was actually just-'

'No,' the mother cut in, her arms wrapped around her daughter's shoulders, 'It's _Alex's _turn to choose, _remember?' _her grin looked almost painful, she turned to the magician, nodding, 'And I just know she's gonna pick something _really _far away from here.'

'Mum, when did we decide it was Alex's turn-'

_Uh-oh, _Archie grimaced, hands on his hips waiting, _trouble in paradi- wait, did he say "mum" or "come on"? _

The girl had cut brother-boyfriend off, 'What if my choice,' she turned between her mother and the younger boy, 'is to watch Justin's lip quiver and beg?' and then she erupted into strange, nasally laughter.

_Hm, _Archie personally didn't have any problems with _those _kind of relationships, the whole humiliation thing - to each their own, after all, and if that's what got you- but it was rather odd that she was saying that in front of her parents. Maybe he was mis-reading the situation. The mother was shaking her head good-naturedly.

Man-Boy hung his head as the woman said 'Come on, honey. I'm sorry.'

'Shotgun!' the younger boy called.

_Was that it?_ Oh, but Archie had one more card up his sleeve - if you'll excuse the pun. He clasped his hands behind his back, leaning in conspiratorially, 'I could show you _la Piedra de los Seuños_?'

Man-Boy spun around, as Archie and Giselle were hoping he would, '_The Stone of Dreams?'_

Archie tried not to sigh, he was _trying _to make a dramatic effect, speaking in Spanish and all - trust this know-it-all to translate for him. Just like his older brother. 'I know where it is,' he nodded to Giselle, 'We have a map.'

'But that's, like, the most important wizard artefact, ever. It can do _anything._'

Archie laughed, 'Yeah.' Come on, why would he not know what it is if he was the one who brought it up? _I do have a brain up in here, people! _

'You know where it is?'

He paused, 'That's what I just said.'

Man-Boy jumped up and down, 'Dad,' he turned to the balding guy inside the car who jumped out, a little concerned, and Archie didn't get why he was calling his girlfriend's father dad, unless... they _weren't_ dating, 'He's got a map to the Stone of Dreams!'

'Yeah?' the man looked over at Archie, 'And so does every other wizard gift shop in town.'

_Damn! _This one wasn't as thick as Numbskull over here - but it was true, he did have a map. A real one.

'And every year,' the man pushed past his... son, apparently, poking a finger into Archie's chest, 'two or three idiot wizards go _la-di-dahing_,' he waved his hands about, imitating a fairy dance, 'through the forest, trying to find the stone, _oh, honey, isn't this such a romantic adventure?' _Archie didn't know any women who sounded like that, 'and you know what happens? They end up _dead.'__  
><em>

Okay, so Archie actually didn't have a counter-argument for that one, but it was okay, right? They had three wizards - that's two spares! 'Please,' he said, 'okay, we're desperate - we've been on this island for _years, _just hoping to find a wizard who could help us,' it was the truth - sure, he conned people, but it was necessary, 'The stone is our only hope of restoring Giselle back to her former beautiful self-'

The parrot squawked, and the man and his son looked a little freaked out.

Archie turned to Giselle, whispering '_Not that you're not beautiful now. You're beautiful, you're gorgeous - in this light._'

If he didn't think she'd bite him, he would be kissing her now.

The man looked at him as if it was weird to be sexually-attracted to a parrot but he did at least look sincerely apologetic, 'I'm sorry. It's just too dangerous,' he patted the man-boy on the shoulder, 'Come on, Justin, let's go - you're in the middle seat.'

Then they got into the van and drove off.

'It's Archie, by the way! Archie Anderson!' he sighed. They hadn't heard him, had they? Well, at least they had his card.

As he walked off, arguing with his parrot who was making a right racket, the policeman glared at him again, swinging his baton, 'Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving, Bert.'

* * *

><p>Alex screamed as she fell into the water for the twentieth time. She sure hoped Javier was the kind of guy who liked those useless, pathetic girls; she'd wanted to impress him with her natural talents but clearly that wasn't happening. She tried to rub a hand against her thigh (where she'd slammed down on the board) without him noticing, keeping up a gross happy-go-lucky act like she was Juliet or Harper or something.<p>

The eye candy waded through the water to her and she stared at his bare chest to distract herself from the pain - it was quite an effective method, she had to admit. 'Alex! Are you okay?' he reached her board and helped her to steady it, 'Are you okay?' he repeated.

She pulled a pout she'd been practising in the car mirror. Although, it wasn't hard to look genuinely upset with the salt water stinging her eyes and the waves attempting to knock her over again.

'Don't worry,' he spoke in that alluring accent - Alex really had a thing for accents, 'you'll be fine - though you might need a few more lessons.' He winked and she shot him her best sweet smile, despite her father's muttering in the background about the extortionate prices.

Javier leaned down on the board, flexing his biceps, '_Shh_, keep this a secret but...' he signalled for her to come closer with his finger so she could hear his whispering, 'I wasn't very good my first time either.'

Oh, so her plan _was _working - he was flirting with her. She increased her pout, 'I'm just having a little problem with the wind part...' she leaned in further, well as much as her life jacket would allow, 'and the surfing part,' she was about to brush a stray lock of hair back from his face, 'and the-'

'Hey, Alex!' she jumped, banging her elbows against the board, _damn it, _and looking up to see her brother gliding past them like he was God's gift to windsurfing or some crap, 'Watch and learn!'

Sure, if she didn't throw up in her mouth first. The little show-off just wanted to stop her from hooking up with Javier because he was stuck with no one to fuck for another two weeks until he got back to his precious corpse. _Give me a break, _instead of wasting his time trying to ruin her vacation, the freak should just find a cemetery on this stupid island and go pleasure himself over a gravestone. Or better yet, dig up the body and get arrested by the cops just when he was about to c- she looked around and rolled her eyes at everybody else's enthusiasm. Even Javier was cheering him on. Well, she guessed he _was _being paid to be supportive, after all. It wasn't genuine like it was when he spoke to her.

Right. _Forbidden-schmidden,_ it was time to have some _real _fun, and she could pull off magical pranks way better than Max could ever dream of - he thought that number he pulled back at the market was impressive? She smirked, edging away from Javier as she breathed out the words '_Though a surfboard I might be a mess on, my brother is in need of a lesson.' _

Remember how she'd been reading about spells to annoy older brothers the night before? _Yeah, it was totally worth bothering to read._

_Shit! _Justin suddenly lost control of his board - it was as if the thing had a freakin' mind of its own. He yanked on the sail with more force. Nothing. _Crap, _'How do you slow this thing down?' he shouted over the waves. He'd been doing great, brilliantly. He was going to make Alex eat the words she'd said in the van about nerds being bad at sport but now- 'Ah! Go back! Go back!' he screamed at the board frantically, 'Big wave!' he was going to be flipped over and drown! This was all Alex's fault!

_The wand! _He pulled it out of his swimming trunks (don't ask) and waved it at himself wordlessly - the thing was so powerful it hardly even needed spells - and within a split second he was suddenly better than great, he suddenly had total control. It was like his body had been surfing for years. Heck, he was the best windsurfer he'd ever seen!

Alex gasped as her brother did a 360 degree flip - _how in the hell- _

_He's got the wand. That little shit has the family wand!_

'Wow, Alex!' _Oh great, _now Javier practically wanted to jump her _brother's_ bones instead, 'He's a natural!'

Alex spoke through a clenched jaw, 'Natural _idiot_, maybe.' What right did Justin have to act so morally superior when he'd gone and taken the family wand, against specific orders? He was just as bad as her! She needed time to revise her plans.

She'd had enough of windsurfing lessons for today; she started to get out of the water.

Justin meanwhile felt amazing - being academically brilliant had its own little thrill to it, and so did the perfection of a spell, but being a top athlete? Justin felt... like alpha-male! _Top of the food chain! Take that, Javier. _

Wait... this thing was going pretty fast, 'Too fast! Too fast!'

'Turn to the wind to slow down!' Javier yelled at him over the waves. Justin had his eyes closed, the spray of the sea in his face, and he had no idea which direction the voice was coming from.

Alex, having reached the shore, was now making her way over to their stuff, where Max was inexplicably making an army of bottle caps and chocolate bar wrappers found in the sand. _Psh._ She heard the King of the Dorks shouting 'Which way is the wind? I can't see!' Served the egghead right.

_Ugh, _she started to wring the water from her hair, what had been up with that magician guy earlier? Was he fucking that bird or something? And why had he kept glancing between her and Justin with that stupid expression on his face? And-

Her parents were waving their arms around like freaks, screaming at her. _What do they want n-_

The sound of feet landing heavily on the shore and then,_ Oh my God!_ two hands collided into her with such force that before she knew what had happened, her brother's body was half pressed on top of her and she had a mouth full of sand.

'Justin! What the fu-' she censored herself, realising she was surrounded by a group of children ranging from five to eight years old - the youngest of which looked about to burst into tears because, as Alex had also realised, she had just demolished what looked like, judging from the remains, a rather lovingly crafted sand castle.

_Oh! _But her foot _was_ in the perfect position to kick Justin in the balls. Not everything was terrible, then.

She started laughing quietly, Justin didn't understand until-

'_Ahhh!' _he groaned, finally rolling off of her to clutch at his assaulted area, narrowly avoiding the father of the children, who had made his way over to sort out the commotion and ask why exactly two low-life teenagers thought it was acceptable to dry-hump on top of his children's work. _Those sick bastards! _He'd give them a good talking to!

Alex looked up to see an angry and confused man caught between glaring at her and asking Justin to please stop writhing so close to his foot, 'Well,' she shrugged, 'Every castle needs a princess?'

Okay, Justin was definitely ruining her charm here.

'No?' she saw that none of the children looked any happier, 'Okay.'

She shuffled up onto her feet, kicking Justin in the shin this time before walking away.

* * *

><p>How had no one else noticed Justin's involvement in that embarrassing little spectacle earlier? There he was, <em>one of them, <em>up ahead laughing at her in the evening air as they made their way to dinner, as if he hadn't been the _reason _she'd squashed that sand castle and as if he hadn't been_ right_ on top of her and as if he hadn't been kicked in the balls but just used that_ fucking wand_ to heal himself before their family came over. Well, _fuck you, Justin. _

Not... literally. _Ugh! _He could go fuck himself.

'I shouldn't have laughed but... you know - she was okay, right?' her father shrugged, chuckling.

_Oh, thanks so much for your support, Daddy!_

'Yeah, but poor Alex,' her mother said, her pity even more embarrassing, 'she really wanted to impress that instructor.'

'Glad you guys are having such a good time!' Alex hoped her family weren't too delusional to realise she was being sarcastic.

'Alex!'

_Hm, _Javier was calling to her from across the green. Well, her family weren't going to miss her, clearly - they'd been ignoring her and her sour mood for the past half hour. She cut across the grass, because paths are for losers, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before she reached him.

Wow, the guy could even pull off baby pink. Dressed in a polo shirt now, Javier motioned for the two women he was with to continue on without him, and met Alex at the edge of the grass, 'Listen. There's a party down at the beach later...'

She waited for him to continue, liking where this seemed to be going.

'Any chance I could talk you into going with me?' he shot her that killer smile usually reserved for stubborn customers trying to file a complaint.

She grinned back - who needed some crappy house party in Brooklyn when you could go to some late-night beach _fiesta_ with a hot Latino? Yes, she knew how to say party in Spanish, 'A _huge _chance,' oh but there was that little problem of a certain Latin_a _and her _family vacation _obsession, 'unfortunately, my mother isn't so easily persuaded...'

His smile started to turn into one of those apologetic maybe-another-time-then ones.

She quickly added, 'But I'll work something out!'

He threw up his arms, 'Cool. I'll see you then,' and then he rushed off after the women, 'my shift ends at nine!' he called over his shoulder.

Still grinning to herself, Alex turned around ready to catch up with her family and almost walked right into her mother. She jumped. _Jeez, _her mum really had to stop doing that, if it wasn't her spying on her conversations with Harper, it was her listening to her talks with cute boys. She understood where she inherited her stealth from for pranking Justin with (speaking of which, she still needed to get him back for earlier).

'What are you working out?' her mother asked, already suspecting something bad.

_Oh for- _how long had she been standing there, exactly? Oh, right - she should try being nice. 'Um,' Alex grabbed Teresa's hand, putting on her baby voice, 'how sweet I have to be for you to let me go to this party tonight?'

'With him? Hahaha,' her mother laughed weakly, gesturing after Javier before turning back to the path the Russos had been following, 'So not happening.'

Alex ran after her, 'What? Why can't I go?'

'Alex!' Teresa didn't know how to respond, she thought she'd explained it enough times already, 'First of all, _we_,' she pointed between the two of them, 'all of us, _together, _we're on a _family _vacation, honey.' She refused to believe Alex didn't already know this, she was getting tired of repeating herself.

'_More like a never-ending photoshoot,' _Alex muttered, but Teresa still heard her, 'Come on, Mum, _please,_ it's just on the beach - that's, like, not even five minutes from our room!

Teresa sighed, 'I am _trying _to create memories,' _positive _ones, she should have added, 'And second, I said no. Your mother telling you no should be enough reason, Alex, you don't need to be spending anymore time with that... boy.' She wasn't sure he even classed as a boy, Teresa reckoned he must be older than Justin.

'But... you don't even know him,' _Aye yai yai, _she was starting to sulk again.

Teresa was tempted to point out that neither did Alex, 'I know he's too _old _for you. And that he probably hits on _every girl _that comes to this resort,' she shuddered, 'and, _at best,_ he's just trying to hustle you into more windsurfing lessons.' More likely he found the idea of a young girl on vacation an attractive conquest to get into bed so he could boast to his friends about it the next day - _no, _Teresa was most definitely not speaking from personal experience. She was a good Catholic, she'd never been taken in by the romance of an exotic country and false promises and empty '_I love you'_s and the heart-breaking humiliation that came in the morning when the boy she thought she'd fallen for was gone without a note.

Lost in the past, Teresa carried on walking, unaware that Alex had lagged behind.

Looking down at the water crashing onto the rocks below, Alex made up her mind, if her mother wasn't going to let her go to the party _willingly... _'_A party I must attend, on that we can't agree, but for a refeshing change... today you'll side with me.' _She flicked the pink spark of magic at her mother, throwing all her aggression and will-power into it.

Her mother's body jerked and she stopped moving. Alex waited, unsure if it had worked.

'You know what?' Teresa turned around, full of energy and a partying,_ you-only-live-once_ attitude, 'You're young!' she threw up her arms, 'Go!' now she was doing the samba, 'Have a good time!' And then she continued walking towards Jerry as if nothing had happened.

Well, that had worked kind of perfectly...

Then Teresa turned around a second time, shaking her head, 'What am I saying?' something strange had come over her, 'Absolutely not.'

Alex frowned.

'Come on, everybody's waiting,' Teresa hurried on, not wanting to be late to dinner. Clearly the hunger was effecting her sanity.

_Oh, great, not enough juice! _Maybe there _was _something Justin could do to make it up to Alex...

* * *

><p>Apparently Memory Lane Disease was contagious because, as dinner revealed, Jerry had clearly caught it too, 'We were sitting <em>right here <em>when I told your mother I was a wizard!'

Alex nodded, pretending to be fascinated while trying to find a convenient moment to drag Justin away.

'Yes,' Teresa rubbed Jerry's arm, 'and he also told me that he loved me,' she leaned in, giving him a kiss, and the Russo children tried not to gag.

Max's brow creased, forkful of pasta drenched in soup and some kind of chocolate dessert (there was a buffet) suspended in the air, 'Dad, why would you do something like that?' he shovelled the thing he called food into his mouth, dribbling some onto his lap, 'Didn't you know you were gonna have to give up your magic?'

Teresa sighed, Max didn't understand love either - and she really should have asked the waiter for some extra napkins. And a baby bib.

'Well, I knew it was an important decision,' Jerry gazed into Teresa's eyes, drawing her attention back to him, 'but I also knew... that we could make some magic of our own.'

_Oh, good God, _'Well,' Alex stood abruptly, her chair making a hideous squeaking noise as it was pushed back, 'that was beautiful, really, guys-' she wiped a finger against her eye, 'I'm tearing up. But look - pork. They've refilled it. You want some, Justin? Good,' she grabbed his arm, 'Let's go.'

'Woah,' Justin's spoon was knocked to the floor as she pulled him sideways but Alex's grip was too tight for him to stop to pick it up. Still, he was thankful - he thought she was still angry with him for earlier but, 'Thanks, Alex, I swear, I think if I had to listen to Mum and Dad talk about the joys of _sex _over dessert, I wouldn't be able to keep that dinner down.'

Alex snorted, they had reached the buffet table now and she could see Javier looking over at her from where he was taking his break at the sea's edge, near to the open-air restaurant. She quickly released Justin's arm, 'I wasn't saving your ass, dorkus - you have something I want,' she grabbed his wrist again quickly, glancing at the time on his watch, 'and I don't have long to get it.' Javier would be expecting her in just under two hours.

_Huh? _Justin was scared, _I have something she wants?_

'I know you have the wand.'

'What?' Justin was shocked. He tried to remain casual, over-acting as he pretended to be deciding between the pork and the veggie option, 'No, no, no - I don't- I don't know _why _you would think that I have the wand, I mean, I definitely wasn't using it last night and I don't have it here because- because-' what was he trying to say again? 'I wouldn't take the wand from Mum and Dad because that would be...'_  
><em>

Alex was yawning.

'Okay,' his shoulders sagged, 'How did you know I had the wand? I- You went through my stuff again!' _Oh, this is bad, this is bad - is she going through _my _underwear, too? What's wrong with us? Why is this happening? We're going to Hell! If it exists!_

'Didn't have to.'

_Oh. _

As she leaned over him to reach for the salad, before diving for the dessert instead, she said 'There's no way you could stay on that windsurfer.'

'Well,' he batted her hand away, there was no use denying he'd used magic any longer, he supposed, 'the wind was blowing _really _hard. Was I supposed to just-'

Her lips were pursed and she was blowing air on him. It tickled his skin and Justin knew it really shouldn't feel so very nice considering Alex's breath still smelled of hamburger. But why was she-

'That was _you?_' Sometimes Justin wondered if his sister wasn't trying to kill him, in multiple ways, 'Wait- no, no, no, no, no, that's impossible!'

Justin was shaking his head and Alex was just standing there, smiling at him. _Like an evil succubus- I mean, devil!_

Justin cleared his throat, 'You know how powerful Mother Nature is, you can't do weather spells unless- unless you're going through puberty,' _definitely past that, _'or you have a wand or- or you use... you have the spell book, don't you?' He should have known.

_Jeez, _Justin sure did like to ramble, turning a conversation which was meant to take two minutes into two _hours; _if they didn't go back to the table soon, their parents were going to get suspicious.

Teresa looked over to her oldest children, tapping Jerry on the arm, 'Aw, honey, you were right - our kids really _are _bonding; look at them over there, helping each other to get food. Aren't they sweet?'

'So here's the fun blackmailing part,' Alex smiled and weaved around her brother, brushing him on the arm as she passed and making his hairs stand up on end.

His eyes looked like they were going to explode. _Oh no, she knows! She's been reading my mind! She knows that- __oh! Right. The wand stuff. Yeah._

'So,' she lowered her voice, remembering the people around them for the first time, 'Let me use the wand... or I'll tell Dad you really _did _take it without permission this time - what will Daddy think of perfect little Justin, breaking the rules?' She made her lip quiver.

_Darn, _she had a good point. Well, two could play at that game - he kept the panic out of his voice, 'Fine. Then I'll tell Dad you took the book.'

Alex looked puzzled, 'So?'

Oh, yeah. He'd forgotten that her most recent punishment for breaking the rules was being made to go on a luxury vacation. He really hated her for always playing the 'Daddy's Little Girl' card with their father. He didn't respond.

She nudged him with her elbow, 'Please?' she pulled the same pout she'd used on Javier: hey, it was through years of using it on Justin that she'd learned how effective it actually _was_, 'I found this amazing agreement spell. Mum and Dad'll agree to anything we say for the next_ six hours.'_

He still wasn't speaking to her.

She nudged him again, 'You can visit your boring troll ruins?'

Damn it, she was good, 'Okay... so just tell it to me. I already _have _the wand.'

She raised an eyebrow.

Okay, so Justin's rebellious history didn't really go far beyond taking a wand in order to study harder - plus, you know, not ratting Alex out to their parents _every _time she broke the rules, 'Fine,' he handed her the wand under the table, 'I'll keep Mum and Dad busy.'

Justin thought she was about to hug him but then she glanced behind her (to Javier) and instead abandoned her plate and made a move to leave, 'Okay. Tell them I... ate some bad shrimp. I'm going to bed.'

She rushed off and Justin returned to his seat, carrying her abandoned plate with him.

Jerry looked up, 'Hey, where's your sister?'

'Um... _don't go back to the hotel room!'_

And then Justin tried to glue their parents to their seats, except in his panic he only managed to explode the new _Max Creation_ (trademark), causing Max to applaud in delight and Teresa to simply gape at him through the muck splattered all over her and get up to return the their room as quickly as possible.

* * *

><p>Alex, sitting on Justin's bed - it was the closest to the door, okay?, rotated the wand in her hand. Okay, she'd better do the spell now before Justin said anything stupid, revealing her plan.<p>

She stood up, turning to the correct page in the book to make sure she said the spell exactly as it appeared, taking a deep breath, '_A party I must attend, on that we can't agree,' _she felt the power building up in the wand, shaking with the force, '_But for a refreshing change-'_

'Alex!' her mother was standing in the doorway, her clothing and hair slightly damp for some reason.

Okay, she really had to stop involving Justin in her schemes - he couldn't be trusted to keep his cool. 'Mum?' Alex quickly hid the wand and spell book behind her back, ignoring the vibrations still coming from them, 'What are you doing here?'

Teresa rolled her eyes and laughed - except nothing about this situation was funny, 'I knew something was up when your brother tried to magically glue me to my chair.'

_Damn it, Justin! _

Teresa stepped closer and Alex continued trying to conceal the magical items, something which was getting harder to do as the wand grew even stronger, 'You just will not_ stop_, will you?' Her mother sounded almost sad.

How- how dare she try to blame this on her? 'Well, what am I _supposed _to do?' Alex shouted, moving her hands into fists and revealing the wand and spell book, 'Since you've decided that you want to control every single fucking _second _of my life!'

'Language, Alex!' Teresa shook her head, walking right up to her daughter, 'Do you really think I'm doing this for _me? _As if you're actually _pleasant _to be around?' Teresa laughed, coldly, because she wanted to cry. What was the point in giving her daughter all these chances, when every time she just threw them back in her face? She was tired of everyone thinking she was a bad mother. She was done being kind.

Alex, stung, raised her voice even more, 'I am _sixteen! _You can't keep _telling _me what to do!'

'Watch me,' that was it, that was _really_ it - all she'd wanted was a nice family vacation, 'For the rest of this trip, you are going to be pleasant,' she held up a finger against Alex, who was about to interrupt, 'and _present..._'

'You can't _make _me!'

Teresa inhaled, 'And when we get home, you are grounded for two months.'

Alex gasped.

Teresa didn't care, if this was the only way to get through to her, so be it, 'That's right. No dating. No parties. No _magic._' It was tearing her family apart.

'Mum!'

'No,' she shook her head, 'Not another word. I've had it,' and she really had this time. She turned away, anger and disappointment pulsing through her veins, 'Now put that stuff away.'

Alex watched her mother storm out of the room before screaming so loudly it hurt her throat, '_I hate you! I hate you! I wish you and Dad had never even met!' _

And as the first tear spilled down her cheek, Alex felt a colossal force rip out of the wand, still tightly grasped in her hand, releasing all of that pent-up energy into the atmosphere, rushing out into the approaching darkness. Alex was shaking, trying to get her sobbing under control.

She sniffed, swallowing to soothe her aching throat and wiping at her eyes. She didn't care what had just happened. She didn't _care. _She was going to that party.

She dropped the wand and spell book onto Justin's bed, striding out of the exit her mother had just left through.

They had disintegrated into the air before she'd even slammed the door.


	7. Revelations (Harper)

**A/N: **Harper's back! Let me quickly explain something... this chapter takes place on Monday morning but the _next_ chapter, the Jalex one, begins on Sunday night, as in the day before - so time is going a little crazy but... only a portion of the next chapter happens on Sunday and it just works better in this order, okay? It's all in past tense, anyway! So, _shh_!

Also, let me know what you think of our surprise guest and their involvement in the plot! Too crazy? Or kind of perfect? It just felt right to have them in here. It's important to find out their perspective on everything, I think. And I'm sure Harper will continue to run into all your favourite characters from the show in future chapters! If there's anyone you'd particularly like to see, let me know and I'll try my best to work them into the story!

By the way, Harper is using a real-life train (the Silver Star Amtrak route) which goes direct from a station in New York within walking distance of Waverly Place (Penn Station) right down to several destinations in Florida. I like to be accurate and research is fun (I'm such a Justin)! I couldn't find much information on what the journey itself is like, however, so I've just made it like a general overnight train (in my mind, Harper's taking the Hogwarts Express).

Do you like my parallels between the relationship talked about in this chapter and Jalex? There's gonna be more where that came from as Harper starts to think about the way Justin and Alex act around each other as she sees these two people acting in a similar way!

I'm keeping these chapters relatively short (for me, anyway) - do you like them this length or would you prefer for them to be longer and have multiple scenes in them, like in the main storyline?

You're lucky I prioritise you above my homework! The next chapter will indeed be up on Sunday (in theory). Huh, it's Halloween soon - but this whole thing is kind of already like a Halloween special, right? Wizards, magic stones, necrophilia... what's not to like?

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>A surprise revelation which may just make you go 'Oh my Captain Jim Bob Sherwood!' - really, I don't think there's too much to worry about in this chapter, the Harper chapters are pretty tame. There's some discussion of sexuality and lightly implied sexual content. We also discuss 'rape culture' (you know, harmful myths like it's not a rapist's fault because they 'can't control their urges') a bit because I try to incorporate activism into my work if I can and it just seemed to me that this character would be like that. Enjoy!

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><p>Harper adjusted herself in the seat she'd be occupying for the next twenty-four hours or so. There hadn't been any tickets available for the Saturday train but she'd waited it out and, first thing Monday morning, had wheeled her suitcase down to the station. It turned out that there were no more beds available for this one either but this just meant that she'd have more money leftover to spend on a gift for Nana Franny. She'd knitted her a sweater out of poodle fluff collected from the pet salon near the Sub shop but then she'd remembered that it was never really cold in Florida. Maybe Alex would have had some ideas if she'd been here...<p>

Harper couldn't seem to shake off the feeling that, in the absence of her good influence, Alex had done something really, _really _bad. Something which would change the world as she knew it. She shrugged, just paranoia she supposed.

She looked around her cabin: four seats around a table, space above for everyone's luggage, a plain rectangular window. Very modern, with its blue and grey colouring it was almost space-y, like something out of _Star Trek. _Justin would have liked it. If Alex was here she would have probably used magic to make it more... her style - a chandelier, fat cushions, a TV with cable. Or maybe she'd turn it all Harry Potter-y just for fun.

Ah! She had to stop thinking about the Russos! Anyway, other passengers would be arriving soon; she didn't have the cabin to herself, so if Alex _had _done that then she would have had a lot of explaining to do.

She got out a sewing magazine, flicking to the page she'd got up to - _How to sew your way out of an awkward conversation? Yes! _

Harper had just got up to the part explaining how to start hemming a stranger's trousers for them if your crush accused you of being a stalker when a voice interrupted her, 'Excuse me, is this seat... fifty-five A?'

'Uh, ye-' just then, Harper, still reading, detected a distinct smell of death and vanilla - she wasn't sure which was more overpowering, or whether they had both mingled together like a baby at a funeral, life and death combined in a way which really shouldn't work. She looked up, 'Juliet?'

The blonde vampire, dressed in beach clothes, gave her a toothy grin before sitting down in the seat opposite Harper's, 'Hey! I didn't know you were gonna be here, Harper! How have you been?'

'Uh...' Well, Harper decided she had no one else to blame but herself - she _had_ thought that she'd rather have Juliet than nobody, after all, and here she was, in the flesh, which she didn't _think _was rotting- okay, she still had a fear of vampires. And people who dated Justin. Anyway, she had to be polite, 'Can't complain,' she shrugged, smiling, 'But why are you here? I thought you were in Transylvania?'

Juliet, who had been leaning forward casually, elbows resting on the table between them, suddenly snapped up, fangs just visible in a mouth gaped open in shock, 'Harper! That is incredibly racist! What,' she huffed, 'I'm a vampire so I must come from Transylvania? I was born in _France, _despite my surname, thank you very much, and I've been living in America ever since it was _created - _well, you know, taken by Europeans, anyway but- why did you think I was in Transylvania?'

Harper was confused - and slightly embarrassed at having her tolerance called into question, 'But- but Justin _said-_' The boy had been doing nothing but non-stop talking about it for the first four days of Juliet's absence. Harper wasn't the only one who it had rubbed the wrong way. She thought for a second, no, it definitely hadn't been Alex that had said Transylvania (that she _wouldn't_ have been surprised about because Alex meanwhile had been doing nothing but making fun of Justin's attachment, using as many vampire and _Romeo and Juliet _related innuendos as possible).

'_Justin?' _Juliet rolled her eyes and fell back in her seat, 'He is _still_ not over the whole vampire thing, is he? I was in _Penn_sylvania, Harper, you know - the state right next to New York? It's where all the Van Heusens live.'

'Oh,' on the one hand, years of being on the receiving end of Alex's complaining had trained Harper to comfort people in these kind of situations - and she certainly knew what it was like for people not to listen to you. On the other hand, if Juliet broke up with Justin over this... she was back in the game. She wasn't sure how best to respond.

As the train rumbled, starting to move (it would appear that they had the cabin to themselves for the journey) an awkward silence developed into an oppressive little bubble. With no strangers at hand to offer to do a sewing job for, Harper resorted to changing the subject, 'So, are you getting off at Florida, too?'

Juliet had been staring out of the window, arms crossed and looking mildly frustrated. She turned back to Harper and got out a bottle of sunblock, SPF 5000, 'Yep. I'm paying a visit to an old friend of mine from the fifties - Francesca Finkle.'

Harper started coughing, she hadn't even been taking a drink. She was choking on her own spit, 'You don't mean...' she coughed again, '_Nana_ Franny?'

Juliet's eyes widened. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning in, 'No way, you're _that _Harper?'

Oh no. This meant that Harper was going on vacation, with _Juliet, _'But- but, how do you know Nana Franny?' This coincidence seemed even more unlikely than the fact that Juliet had just happened to have the ticket for the seat opposite her. It was as if she was a character in a book, someone deciding that all the weirdest things would happen to _her._

Was Juliet... blushing? 'Well, it was a long time ago, Harper and- really, do you have to call her that?' she laughed nervously, 'It makes me feel so old-'

Harper opened her mouth to speak.

Juliet cut her off with a hand, 'I _know _but I don't _feel _that old, okay? It's not old in vampire years!' she sighed, 'Your... grandmother and I used to date for a bit. Happy now?'

Harper froze. And then she started choking again. This could not be happening. First Justin, now her Nana Franny - was she going to say she's been cheating on Justin with _Alex _next?

Juliet stood up, patting Harper on the back until she stopped.

Finished, Harper tried to process her thoughts, 'Oh. Um, I didn't know you were... bisexual? Juliet.' Her Nana Franny and _Juliet?__  
><em>

Juliet shrugged, 'A vampire's sexual attraction is really just based on how good your blood smells, Harper. I had a fling with a werewolf once; they have an almost... feral scent to them. Hey,' she frowned, 'You aren't homophobic, are you?'

Harper shook her hands quickly, 'No! No, I just- wait, so you _do _want to drink Justin's blood?' _I knew it!_

'No!' Juliet almost shouted, 'Well, sort of. But it's like, just because I want to doesn't mean I have to, Harper. People _have _self-control, you know. Vampires who drink blood without that person's permission, they- they aren't really doing it for that, it's more the sick sense of power it gives them. The entitlement. People use that excuse to let rapists off the hook - you're not supporting rape culture, are you, Harper?'

Oh gosh, maybe being around Alex and her distorted sense of morals really was having a negative effect on Harper - was she allowing her morality to slip just because almost anybody looked like a saint lined up against the devious Russo? Harper nibbled on her lip, 'I guess you're right... sorry.' As much as she disliked apologising to the woman who had stolen the hearts of both Justin and Nana Franny, apparently, she knew to say sorry when it was appropriate, unlike Alex.

Juliet smiled slightly.

'So... wait,' Harper had just realised something, 'Nana Franny- I mean, Francesca - knows you're a vampire? Because, to be honest, if you weren't, I think you'd be a _little _more shrivelled up by now.' Harper studied Juliet's youthful appearance. Soon she'd look younger than her and Alex.

'Hm? Oh! Yeah, I let her know way back, just before we- right, uh, you probably don't wanna hear about that,' Juliet laughed and Harper felt the image she'd had of her grandmother shatter forever, 'But yeah, she knows. Ugh, let me tell you,' she leaned forward again, 'You think being with another girl is difficult in 200_9? _Try it half a century ago.'

Harper briefly wondered if her grandmother had ever really loved her grandfather - they had got divorced pretty quickly for a marriage in the early sixties - or if their love had just been a lie to cover up a sexuality forbidden at the time. It sounded tragic, to be with someone you don't really want to be with just because the rest of the world won't let you be with the person you really love. Had Juliet and Nana Franny really been in love?

'Harper?' Juliet called her name. She had been daydreaming.

'Oh. _Sorry,_' Harper apologised again, 'I'm used to people not really acknowledging my existence so I usually just fill in the time with thinking,' she explained in that sing-song, tragically blunt way of her's.

Juliet felt a pang of sympathy for the lonely girl, 'Oh, well, I'll listen to you, Harper - and we'll both get to see your grandmother soon.'

'Soon?' Harper checked her watch, 'We still have a good twenty-three hours on here, Juliet.'

She laughed, 'Harper, you already pretty much admitted that you think I'm really old - a day is nothing to me.'

'Is a day with_ Justin_ nothing to you, too?' Harper had questioned without even thinking. She regretted it: she was being openly rude.

Juliet raised her eyebrows, 'Look, I'm sure Justin can cope without me for a couple of weeks,' she looked out of the window again, the buildings of New York passing by, 'He has Alex; it's fine.'

'What?' Harper laughed, confused, 'You really think Justin would be _happy _about that? They can't stand each other! They spend all their time constantly talking about how much they annoy each other or grabbing and shoving each other or ruining each other's lives. Honey, do you know how many times Alex has tried to make Justin break up with _you? The love of his life?'_ Harper rolled her eyes, not liking this title one bit,_ '_Ha, she's practically worse than me.'

'Uh...' Juliet really had nothing to say, 'Harper... could you take the Justin-goggles off for a second and look at what you just said?'

'Huh?'

Juliet sighed, Harper just didn't have enough experience with the world, 'Nevermind, look - this isn't exactly a coffin or anything but I'm pretty worn out. Mind if I transform into a bat and take a nap in that sweater of yours?' She pointed to the poodle-fur sweater sticking out of Harper's bag.

'Uh, sure, I guess,' Harper had to shut her eyes, because that whole transforming thing really creeped her out, but it left her with a pretty adorable looking creature snuggled up beside her. It was sort of like having a pet cat.

Harper opened her magazine again as the bat began to gently snore, wondering what would happen next on this big adventure.


	8. Lies and Lyrics

**A/N: **Sorry I'm late! I struggled with the flow of this chapter, it just wasn't working for a while. Dance scenes are difficult, okay? I don't know how to describe dance moves!

So, firstly a short message for my regulars (you know who you are), thanks for your feedback on my second Harper chapter. It has been filed and logged up in my brain ready for when we next tune in to _The Harper Show_. Please continue to share your comments and, to the rest of you, please start to comment - I want to hear your voices!

Some songs are mentioned in today's chapter because of the party but I promise this isn't going to turn into a song fic (not that they can't be done well but they're just the sort of thing you either love... or really, really hate). They aren't obscure - I'm not trying to promote my favourite indie band or anything - so you should have heard of them (_Toxic _by Britney Spears and _Livin' La Vida Loca _by Ricky Martin) and I think they work in context. You don't have to know the songs to understand the chapter but it is weird how fitting _Livin' La Vida Loca _is for Alex Russo, seriously. Go listen to it.

(This chapter was supposed to end after Jerry had explained that they'd disappear if they didn't find the Stone of Dreams but my imagination got kind of out of hand with the whole party scene... and the ending is pretty sweet, right? *Insert fangirl screams from Mother Nature (you'll get that reference after reading)* So... I guess that'll have to wait until next time. Don't worry - it's already all planned out.)

I hope you like how I've altered events. Don't worry, we get back on track by the end of next chapter and everything slots into place.

There is a possibility that I won't be updating next week... you see, I sort of have a thousand deadlines coming up out here in the real world, where I can't use a spell to fix that for me, and if I don't discipline myself and get those tasks done, they're sort of going to impact the rest of my life. In terms of my future career, anyway - in a butterfly effect. So it's very important that I don't allow myself to use fanfiction writing as an excuse to not get the work done. If I a) miraculously finish the work early or b) let procrastination and daydreaming defeat my powers of logic and will power (more likely), then there will indeed be an update next Sunday. Otherwise, the next update will be on... **8th or 9th November 2014**. So, on that note, Happy Halloween and have a lot of fun scaring yourself to death watching horror movies while trick-or-treaters knock on your door and you think they're demon serial killers coming to slay you!

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><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>Deviously catchy turn-of-the-21st-century pop tunes which _will _be stuck in your head all day, more implied sexual content, more strong language, **potential trigger warning - **an ambiguous situation in which Alex is intoxicated and Javier is somewhere on the scale between sleazebag and predator (he doesn't force anything exactly but... yeah) and... sexy dancing between siblings?

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><p>Blindly following the heavy beat of distant music, Alex wove her way between palm trees and deck chairs - she wanted to get to the beach as quickly as possible so she could forget all about her stupid mother and her stupid rules and stupid Justin.<p>

If he had just done what she'd _said_!

_Ugh! _She felt another round of tears coming on, practically hitting herself as she rubbed at her eyes furiously. Puffy, red eyes and a sniffling nose _so _did not scream the 'hot and mature 21-year-old' thing she was going for. She huffed, stepping back against the bushes which lined the path to disguise herself slightly, racking her brains for a spell - she hadn't even had time to change. _Hm, come on, come on,_ she was having trouble thinking,_ Aha! _'_I want a boy to like me tonight... so make him see me as... glowing and bright_.'

She pointed a finger at herself. She waited. Then her body started to emit a neon glow. Great - it looked like she'd taken a bath in a tub of glow-in-the-dark paint. _Ha,_ reminded her of the time Justin was all gross and hairy and a werewolf and they had to freaking bathe him in a trash can or something. Attractive. Not. She glared at herself, 'Not like that!' and she guessed from the tone of her voice, her body must have gotten the message because the glowing stopped and she felt freshly washed at least, if nothing else. It would have to do.

A blast of heat in the cold night air moments later told her she'd arrived; she had been busy adjusting her hair - she looked up now. Red and orange in sharp contrast to the blue-black sky; flickering lanterns and fire and grinding bodies reflecting the light on exposed stomachs and faces half hidden by deep shadows and movement. The music was loud and live here, a sensuous song in a foreign language. Alex was standing frozen, on the edge of the path, not yet stepped onto the beach, overwhelmed by the intensity of it. It was so anonymous. She couldn't pick out a face, nobody could pick out her - she could be anybody, for tonight. It was as if she had no parents, no family, no history before this second.

'Alex!' Javier, face half painted in shades of auburn light, ran up to her, bare feet flicking sand into the air, and she remembered her name again. She smiled and the spell seemed to be working because before she was aware of it, he had grabbed her hand and was taking her into the crowd.

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><p>Justin, meanwhile, was having a minor - okay, major - freak out. At dinner, first Mum had left, then Dad had left, then he had left and he'd forgotten about Max and Max could still even be at the dinner table or drowned in the sea or the swimming pool and he couldn't find Mum and he couldn't find Dad and he couldn't find <em>Alex <em>and it was already 10.30 p.m. and it was way past his self-imposed bedtime and yeah he was probably going to stay up and use the wand some more if Alex ever gave it _back _to him but that really wasn't the point and - _where are they? _

He slammed open the door to their hotel room, inhaling and exhaling and inhaling again like he'd just run a marathon - or at the very least, ran away from Juliet's parents after they'd given him one of those hungry looks (almost like they were attracted to him). Anyway, he stood in the doorway, trying to understand why Max was doing a headstand while reading.

'_Max?_' When had he come back here?

'Oh, hey, Justin - thanks for _ditching_ me back at the restaurant,' Max was annoyed, to say the least. But Justin didn't have time for that right now.

'Max,' Justin walked into the room, raking a hand through his hair, 'this is important - have you seen Alex? Or Mum? Or Dad? _And why are you doing that?_'

'Helps me to read better - if I stay like this long enough, I start to hallucinate and then I can_ really_ see the stuff that's going on in the- woah!' he toppled over, landing on the bed he had been standing next to. He shook his head, face red from all the blood, 'Can't say I have, Justin - although earlier I _did _see Dad at the bar, I think he was trying to chat up the lady that works there,' Max lowered his voice, 'Between you and me, I think he punches a _little_ bit above his weight,' he returned to a normal volume, 'And I also saw Mum flipping her hair and smiling at that Javier dude, and I think I saw Alex heading to the beach except she was glowing bright blue, Justin, so I don't know if that was her or maybe a light bulb that just really looked like her.'

For the entire length of Max's monologue Justin had been gaping at him, arms crossed. He continued this for several more seconds before scream-whispering (not wanting to disturb the neighbours), '_Max! How is that not seeing them? You've seen all of them! Why are Mum and Dad flirting with other people? Something's wrong! And, somehow, I doubt that was a freakin' light bulb!_' Max had returned to his headstand, 'And stop doing that!' Justin spun round to the door, checking he had his wallet and phone before he left, 'I'm gonna go look for them. Stay here.'

'Sure thing, Justi-'

'No more headstands!' he slammed the door.

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><p>Alex giggled. Back at the party, Javier was doing an impression of his grandfather as he danced, throwing out ridiculous dance moves and giving Alex old-man compliments including the flattering 'Ah, Miss Alex, I see you still have all of your real teeth - you must have good dental hygiene, no?' They were enclosed in the crowd swaying around them - or was that Alex swaying? The punch here was good; she'd downed three cups of it in quick succession, but it didn't seem like the sort of thing they'd allow to be sold at the bar.<p>

She slapped her hands down on his shoulders, pretending to be telling him off but really just trying to increase the physical contact, _classic - _it was a trick she used on all the boys, well, except Justin, _obviously_, 'Stop it!' She moved in closer. The music was moving at a faster pace now. Alex hadn't actually tried grinding before but... how hard could it be, right?

'Alex...' _Oh, _the way he said her name, _Allllex, _not at all like Justin said it, with all that emotion, but slowly, calmly - wait, why the hell was she comparing him to _Justin_? She meant Dean. Dean. _Russo_. Here was a guy who actually called her by her _name_.

She hoped her eyes were smouldering enough. She leaned in, raising herself up on tiptoes, ready to kiss or be kissed when-

'Javier!' another girl about her age had somehow broken into their little bubble and popped it. She was touching him on the arm, smiling, Alex wasn't even there apparently, 'I made it!'

'Ah, Emily,' he smiled back, 'I was worried I wouldn't be able to see you until our windsurfing lesson tomorrow - uh, would you like something to drink?'

_Huh? _Alex didn't like the way this was sounding...

'Javier,' _Oh for fuck's sake - there's another one? _A third girl was now tapping him on the shoulder and smiling.

'Javier,' Alex huffed, grabbing him by the arm a little more forcefully, 'Can I, uh, talk to you alone for a sec?' She dragged him out of the main party, pushing bodies out of the way.

Over at the shore, it was much darker. The waves were interfering with the sound of the music, crashing out of sync. She started to speak but then he grabbed her, trapping her in a meaningless kiss. Pressed against him he smelt of salt, his lips seemed cold, breath from his nose barely lukewarm. He pulled away, hands still cupping her neck, down here where they couldn't be seen by the others. She swiped her hand across her mouth, removing the spit, 'Javier, do you know how old I am?'

She closed her eyes for a moment, against the sea wind and the alcohol that was making her head spin.

He spoke, soothingly, but she didn't like the words that came out of his mouth, 'Alex, _really,_ it doesn't matter, the legal age here is fourteen - don't worry, I won't get in trouble. You know,' he pressed his lips against her ear, 'we can go back to my room. I stay at the hotel; my friends - they can sneak you in. We can be quick. I will take you back to your mother before she even knows you are gone.'

She stepped back, stumbling slightly.

'Alex,' he grabbed her arms, pulling her close to him again, 'those girls back there... I do not like them. They mean nothing. They are not beautiful... like you.'

For God's sake, where was her mother to say I told you so? She needed to get out of here, 'Javier, I- er,' she shot him a quick smile, 'I'm just really tired. I think I'm gonna leave,' she paused, 'Alone,' she quickly added.

'Alex-'

'I mean it,' she tried to sound forceful through the alcohol, like she'd scream if he tried anything, because he was still rubbing her arm just as insistently.

His smile eventually fell and he backed away. She guessed he didn't want to risk his job, 'Oh... that is a shame,' it was amazing how fast he recovered, 'But no worries! Some other time, right? I am here all Summer,' he winked, and Alex wasn't sure if that was just the punch making her feel sick, 'And hey,' he rested his hand on her shoulder gently and for a second Alex thought he was going to offer to walk her back, 'just let me know if you want some more windsurfing lessons, because if you buy five, you get an amazing discount, alright?'

And then he ran off, leaving her by the sea, in the dark, by herself, no doubt rushing back to say exactly the same thing to one of those other girls. Probably both of them. Maybe it was for the best that he _hadn't_ offered to walk her back.

She could already see her mother's smug expression. _Shut up, Mum._

As for asshole over there, _H__urt, angry, plotting revenge and slightly unsure that I'm going to make it back to the room without falling over._

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><p>Justin had made it to the beach. He hadn't seen anyone at the pool-side bar, so he didn't know where Dad was again, but at least he'd be able to find Alex. Maybe she'd know something. And he should keep an eye on her - but only because Mum thought it was a bad idea for her to go to this party, of course. And Alex's schemes rarely ended as well as she thought.<p>

He stepped onto the sand, working his way over to the punch bowl. He'd just taken a sip, tapping his foot to the Latin pop music, when he felt a kind of magical pull in the pit of his stomach and his eyes were drawn to an incredibly hot girl who seemed to be almost glowin-

_Oh shit, that's Alex._

Kicking himself for admitting, in his head at least, that he found his own sister hot - and we're talking hotter than Juliet here, who was the most beautiful woman on the entire planet, in both the wizarding and mortal realms, in- but, right, this wasn't right. She must have put a spell on herself. She put a spell on herself. It was only the spell. Once again, this was all Alex's fault! _Damn it!_

'Alex!'

She jumped as he grabbed her arm and then swayed into him slightly, steadying herself with a hand against his chest, 'Justin? What are you doing here?' she snorted, 'I'm pretty sure no one invited you.'

He stared down at her hand, then at her drunken body language and sighed, annoyed, 'Alex, I'm pretty sure it was an open invitation to anyone within a five-mile radius of here, judging by the sheer number of writhing bodies you've surrounded us with,' he made a face at the highly indecent dancing everyone was engaged in, 'But- where's Mum? Did you do the spell? She went back to the room to find you and-'

Alex ripped her hands off of him, just now remembering that, _O__h, right,_ she was supposed to be pissed, 'Oh. Yeah, that. _Thanks so much. _Are you fucking _kidding _me, Justin? Gluing people to _chairs_? And you think _I'm _an idiot?'

Justin was glad that she had mistakenly thought he'd actually _managed _to glue them to their chairs but he still had to defend himself, 'I- You- You know I'm not comfortable breaking the rules!'

'Then _why _did you bring the family wand, you hypocrite!'

'I would have been _allowed_ to take the wand if it wasn't for you, Alex! _D__id you do the spell or not?' _It was a good thing everyone was too drunk to pay attention to their shouting, that's all Justin had to say.

'I didn't wait to find _out _if I did the spell or not - I didn't even get a chance to _say _all of it thanks to _somebody_ - but _something_ happened and right now I don't really care what or where Mum is or what you want to complain about or... or... or-' Alex hiccuped and it was hard to tell in the semi-darkness but Justin swore her lip was quivering. For real this time.

'Alex...' he found himself raising his free hand to touch her hair, 'Are you okay?'

'Yes!' she sounded offended at being seen as anything other than indestructible. She backed away, 'I'm just- just very busy because... I have to get ready to go back to Javier's room tonight!' she smiled as if she had just insulted his action figures.

Justin gasped, 'So_ that's_ why you have a spell on yourself!' Justin didn't notice the way Alex's eyebrows furrowed, 'You- you are _not _going to his room, Alex. I won't let you. We're going back _right now_-'

He had grabbed her arm and tried to start marching her back to their room but the girl was stronger than she looked, even when she was wasted: she hadn't budged. She forced herself to laugh, 'Do you _really_ think I'm still a virgin, Justin?' voice going delicate, questioning his sanity.

Okay, so she actually _was, _technically, but she wasn't going to let _Justin _know that, of all people - he could _not_ know that he had lost his virginity first, too.

'What?' _Who? How? When? Where?_ Was it Dean? Was it the time Justin let them use his room to study? _I _knew _Dean didn't study! _He was going to _kill _him- 'Alex,' he stemmed his own thoughts, 'You... don't know anything about this guy! Juliet and I are in a _committed, loving _relationship and I know that you're still upset about Dean but-'

Alex rolled her eyes, '_Juliet and I are in a committed, loving relationship, Alex, we don't have _sex, _we make love and rainbows and- _fuck you, Justin!' she used the arm which his hand was still gripped around to yank him forward; he almost fell into her, 'You can't tell me what to do!'

'Yes, I can.'

'No. You can't.'

'Alex-'

'_You're just_ _jealous!_'

Justin's eyes widened, cheeks visibly blushing even in the orange lighting. They were very close - she could see his face in detail, 'I- I-'

'I mean...' Alex swallowed loudly, trying to reword that, 'You're jealous that no one's throwing themselves at _you _here, at this lousy resort. Face it, Justin,' she stood up straighter, breaking eye contact to prepare the insult. She met his eyes again, detached now, 'The only people you can pull are mythical freaks that actually think _Dungeons and Gargoyles _is cool.'

'Okay, _firstly,_ Alex,' Justin began, distracted by his inner dork, _thank God_, 'they aren't _mythical _if they actually exist. Secondly,' he raised his other hand, eager to correct her from every angle, 'I think you'll find that several _supermodels _were rather_ interested_ in playing _Dungeons and Gargoyles _with me, thank you very much.'

Alex laughed, for real this time. The dork just couldn't help himself, could he? She was just about to make a comeback when-

_Baby, can't you see? I'm calling. A guy like you, should wear a warning,_

Alex grinned, 'Oh my God! I love old music!' Javier had been forgotten; she tried to drag Justin into the crowd.

Now _he_ wasn't budging, 'Alex, this came out in _2003. _I was fourteen,' he raised his voice,_ '_What part of that information classifies _Toxic _as "old music"?'

She shrugged, still tugging, 'Well, I guess you would know, Egghead, you did have that poster of Britney Spears in your room that you used to talk to every night - and don't try to tell me you were inviting her over for a_ tea party_,' she leaned in and whispered, 'I heard _everything.'_

Justin squeaked and stopped resisting due to shock, allowing himself to be guided further into the beach, barely even flinching when his free arm brushed against the practically naked bodies around him (in all fairness, the so-called naked bodies were in swimming costumes, and it was a beach), 'Wait...' he said and Alex turned, walking backwards now, 'how did you hear?'

'What?'

'My... _conversations-_' he was not going into anymore detail than that.

'Psh, I'm not sure you could call them-'

'Alex! I'm serious, you couldn't have heard through the wall, I always used a spell to soundproof my room when I... talked... to Britney! In the middle of the night, I might add!'

'Well,' she lowered her chin and breathed out, '_maybe-I-was-hiding-in-your-closet-purely-for-pranking-and-blackmail-purposes_ and, _come on_, Justin,' she whined, swinging his arm, 'You have to _dance!'_

'You-' he looked around them, now in the centre of the crowd, and Alex thought he was about to gag when he saw the way everyone else was moving, all pressed up against each other like that, 'Alex, no! I can't dance with you to this song!'

'Why not?' she was holding his hand, pouting, 'Do you want me to go somewhere with Javier instead?' What? She was going to milk this for all it was worth.

_Captain Jim Bob Sherwood, protect me, _'Okay, forget-' he gestured around them at all the gyrating, '_that. _"_I'm addicted to you_", "_you're toxic_"? The lyrics are highly inappropriate!'

'_Justin_...' she tipped her head back, _O__oh, stars,_ 'Sometimes you should just ignore the lyrics and... listen to the music. It's just surface junk - it's not like people ever _say_ what they mean,' she stopped looking at the sky. Okay, he still looked grumpy, so he wasn't dancing anytime soon... she could fix that.

She dragged him out of the mass of people back over to the punch bowl, knocking people out of the way and ignoring his pathetic little protests. She picked up a cup, shoving it at him, 'Drink.'

He tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, 'And if I end up as drunk as _you_, then-'

'Then at least you'll loosen up a little!' she turned her head towards the band covering songs for the evening, 'Oh! Listen, a Spanish song, so now you can dance.'

He rolled his eyes, downing the drink against his better judgement because she _always _brought out the worst in him. He grimaced, no wonder she'd had so much, the thing was full of sugar, 'Alex, I can understand Spanish!' And if he'd thought the lyrics to _Toxic _were bad... this one was actually about _romantic _love, 'I actually _listen _to our mother who, by the way, _forbid you from going to this party!_'

'Will you just shut up and dance, already?' she grabbed the half-empty cup out of his hand, drank the other half (Justin's skin crawled - her lips touching the spot where his had been) and then chucked it behind her, hitting someone on the head.

'Hey!'

Ignoring whoever that was, because who cared, anyway, Alex pulled her brother back, again, whose hand she had been holding the entire time, by the way (Justin hadn't seemed to have noticed this), into the dancing bodies.

_'Dance,'_ Alex said as she used his hand to twirl underneath him.

Justin stood there. A stone among the people moving around him, 'I don't know how to dance, Alex.'

'Bullshit!' she was dancing around him now, trying to make him spin by bending his arm further than it should go, 'You seemed fine dancing with _Juliet _at _my _Zombie Prom. And we used to dance together when we were kids all the time!'

'Ow!' he finally gave in, spinning to release his arm from the pain it was under, 'Yeah but not like this! And that was... slow dancing with Juliet, Alex. You know, _lady-like _dancing.'

She tried to rest her other hand on his shoulder at that - but their height difference was too much so she settled for his elbow, 'I can do _lady-like _dancing.'

He swallowed, not moving, and then she grabbed his hand for him and put it on her waist.

'There. Now you have no more excuses.'

He huffed, 'I can think of one,' but he finally started to dance.

'So just don't say it,' Alex pointed out as if he was incredibly stupid. And maybe he was.

So now they were slow-dancing, highlighted in contrast to everyone else, who were most definitely not doing anything as structured. And hey, even the moon had come out - the light that had been clouded over until the siblings had reunited. The silver illuminated everything far better than the fire. Who knew Mother Nature was a Jalex shipper, huh?

'Wait...' Alex half-whispered, 'Wasn't this song by Shakira?' she giggled, 'You like _her _even more than Britney.'

Justin rolled his eyes at her wicked grin - couldn't she just stop talking for a minute? Did she have to bring up the fact that they had a history together? 'Your point is?'

She laughed into his chest, 'Nothing, nothing,' she met his eyes again, 'Did you know Uncle Kelbo has a shrine to her, too? He has a copy of all of her costumes in his room and-'

'Alex! I do not have a shrine to Shakira!' Did she have to remind him that they shared an uncle? He was starting to feel uncomfortable again...

'Sure you don't, Dorkus,' he should have realised by now that she used all these names for him as terms of endearment.

He started to break away from her and she frowned - she'd had too much punch to be able to hide her disappointment effectively.

'Alex, we should really-'

_Oh, thank you, Ricky Martin - screw you and your Puerto Rican, cross-over Latin sensation!_

_Livin' La Vida Loca _had started, and now he would never be able to persuade Alex to leave.

'Hey!' she was happy again, wiggling already, and now he knew that _he'd _never be able to leave, 'Now this is some Spanish I can understand!'

He put his hands on his hips - he had to at least look like he was annoyed, even in the face of her happiness, 'Really, Alex? So, tell me, what does _la Vida Loca _actually _mean_?'

'This,' and then she pressed her body against him, and _fuck, _he sure hoped she couldn't feel anything suspicious.

'Alex!' he shoved her off of him. She was clearly _far _too drunk to be aware of her actions.

'Justin!' and then she pressed against him again, 'You can't slow-dance to this song, okay? It's like, impossible.'

And he could have come up with a thousand replies to that but for some reason - blame the punch - his stupid, senseless, idiotic brain (and Justin was rarely one to insult his genius) made no attempts to do this, even though his little sister was throwing herself all over him (she would later claim it was a prank, no doubt), and his body was enjoying it far too much and his hands had even began to touch her of their own accord when-

'Oh my God,' Alex stopped. She was staring at something.

He turned around, confused, and felt her duck behind him. _What the-_

Close to the shore were their parents. And they were dancing. In a way that no children would ever want to see their parents doing.

Alex was shaking, with laughter, 'So _I _can't go to a party but it's totally okay for them to sneak down here and do _that_?'

'Alex!' he turned back, 'Alex!' he had forgotten how close she still was, 'What are they- what are we- we have to leave!'

One of the side effects of that spell must have made them more carefree... and this had been taken to its logical conclusion.

'Oh no, please tell me they aren't-'

Yes. Jerry and Teresa were now joining a small number of people frantically removing their clothes to go skinny dipping.

'Okay,' Alex continued, linking her arm around Justin's elbow, 'No one wants to see _you _naked, Justin, so let's leave before they see us.'

'Hey,' as they manoeuvred their way through the people rushing down to the sea, Justin couldn't seem to stop himself from saying 'Juliet happens to _love _my body. I work out now, Alex! You can't pass those kind of judgements when you've never even _seen _me naked!'

And... that sounded far too much like an invitation. Back on the resort's pathways now, Alex merely raised an eyebrow - she didn't even have to say anything to twist that one.

'I- I wasn't-'

'Whatever, Weirdo,' she was leaning into him a lot, as they walked, feeling tired. They didn't slow down, though - they wanted to get back to the hotel room as quickly as possible in case Mum and Dad somehow managed to beat them back (not likely).

* * *

><p>With the crickets starting up and the moonlight and Alex leant against the wall giggling again, while Justin tried to unlock their door, he couldn't help but think of Zombie Prom again and the events that had happened after. The giggling. The darkness. Alex didn't giggle the same way that Juliet did.<p>

It felt wrong to be thinking of Juliet right now. He told himself he didn't know why.

A small click told them he'd unlocked the door. They stumbled into the pitch black inside, Justin almost screaming when he bumped into the dressing table. Alex clamped a hand over his mouth, his lips pressed against her fingers. Max was snoring, they shouldn't wake him up.

At some point they fell into a bed, both insisting it was theirs, and maybe Justin was more drunk than he thought because now he was giggling too, biting his lip to keep quiet, and they were shoving each other.

'Get into your bed,' he whispered.

'Get into _your _bed, this one's mine!'

'No, it's not!'

'Shh! You'll wake Max!'

'So?'

'Shh!'

And neither sibling left the bed.

And eventually they stopped talking.

And, with moonlight peeking in through the gap in the curtains - thanks to Mother Nature, they fell asleep, still dressed and on top of the covers but comfortable.

Justin sighed.


	9. Chapter 9 Preview and Important Notice

**A/N - PLEASE READ, IMPORTANT: **This is **not **the full chapter, it's the first two scenes of it. And they're probably going to be edited a bit more too.

The actual chapter will end after they've tracked down Jerry, we've heard about what _he's _been getting up to and it's been explained that the Russos need to find the Stone of Dreams if they don't want to forget everything and disappear forever. I might also work in that scene where Max tries to hug Teresa. When I've finished the chapter I will delete this one and create a new chapter, so you'll definitely get an alert letting you know. Think of this as a... **preview**. I couldn't leave you with nothing for any longer.

A brief explanation as to why I'm late and why I haven't finished this yet, for those who are interested: I know it's disappointing when stories are updated late and it's even worse when they aren't ever finished - please believe me when I say I _will _be finishing this story. Unfortunately I've had trouble finding the time to work on it because other work has made me extremely busy lately. I'm actually going to be very busy until about **15th December 2014**; I'd hoped that I would still be able to write a chapter of this each week if I took a week off from FanFiction to get as much work done as I could but ultimately I have several different areas of work which have deadlines in December, which also happens to coincide with a series of university interviews which I need four weeks to prepare for. Therefore, **until mid-December, updates are going to be very irregular, **fitted in to whenever I have a few hours spare. After this, I'll have plenty of free time until April, allowing me to update **every Sunday** again. Hurray!

In theory, I should be able to finish this chapter in the next few days. I just have more studying to do first.

I am so, so sorry that I didn't let you know this information on Sunday (I didn't decide that I wouldn't be capable of updating every Sunday until today) and, of course, I apologise for not being able to update regularly for the next month. Thank you for your patience and interest and enthusiasm and reviews and follows and favourites - in return I will be giving you a finished story, I'm afraid life just interferes now and again. This story _will _be finished.

So in _this _chapter, we see the effects of my alteration of the timeline last time - obviously Jerry and Teresa have had a rather different experience too (or have they? We didn't see in the movie what they got up to at night, after all) - but by the end of the chapter we are pretty much back on track (as you will see eventually...). This is set on Monday morning now, happening at the same time as the most recent Harper chapter, in case you lost track.

* * *

><p><strong>Warnings: <strong>Home-Brewed-Punch-Induced Hangover (_not _based on personal experience)! Strong language! Implied sexual content! Disappointing shortness!

* * *

><p>A massive explosion woke Alex up. Wait, no... that was just the sound of the door opening. <em>Ugh, s<em>he flinched as it closed again - who the _fuck _was making all that noise? Seriously, if Alex wasn't kind of busy hugging this pillow right now, she would totally be remembering that forbidden spell she'd read, the one about replacing people's hands with toilet plungers. _Ha, try opening a door _then.

_Ew... gross. _How long had she been drooling? She could feel the damp patch of spit against her cheek, she hoped Ju- nobody had seen because they'd obviously take yet another picture for the big ol' family vacation album and then she'd be screwed for eternity-

_Oh, God! _A light had been switched on in the bathroom and it was penetrating right through her eyelids. 'The fu-' she started to say but then the headache stopped her and-

_Oh my God, this is not a pillow. _

She'd tried to sit up to yell at whoever the hell thought it was a good idea to assault her senses for a third time but then she realised that this pillow she was pressed into was kind of a strange shape, and kind of didn't feel like a pillow, and her legs were kind of wrapped around one of the pillow's legs and-

'_Ahhhhhh!'_

A woman was screaming and Alex was being attacked and she was trying to move but she was too hungover but then someone moved her for her because some _idiot _likes to shove things when he's being attacked in his sleep and then, _Ow!,_ she'd hit the floor.

_'¡Vete! ¡Vete! Get out!' _their mother was attacking Justin with an actual pillow.

Justin meanwhile, crouched on the other side of the bed, was shielding himself and whimpering something about Captain Jim Bob Sherwood. _Psh, sure, that's gonna save you._

_'Mum!' _Alex screamed to stop the screaming, her headache really couldn't take any more noise.

'I'll call the police, I'll report you to the manager - get out!' their mother clutched the pillow as some kind of shield, backing away. She looked crap - wait a second, Alex wondered what she looked her _herself - _had Mum been out the _entire night?_

_'The police?' _Justin cried from underneath the elbows covering his head.

Justin had a point, their mother didn't exactly have to get them arrested for sleeping together, _Jeez._

Okay, that sentence came out wrong - give her a break, she drank a lot of punch last night, 'Mum-'

'How did you even get in here?' she was switching her gaze between Justin, Alex and the phone on the bedside table, 'Who are you? I'm writing down your details!'

_Huh?_

'Okay, uh-' Justin, apparently recovered from his little mental breakdown over there, grabbed Alex around her arm and yanked her up off of the floor, 'Sorry we... bothered you, we'll just, er,' he was guiding Alex out of the still slightly-open door, 'be leaving now, heh- _Alex, what did you do?'_

Outside now, she blinked, trying to focus on his face but the light was too intense, 'I- ha, you got my drool on your shirt,' she poked him in the chest and he batted her hand away. Alex stuck her tongue out briefly, 'I didn't do anything _you_ didn't do, _Justin, _you can't just blame this all on me, I didn't force myself on you-'

'Wha- huh- I- _I'm talking about the fact that Mum doesn't know who we are!_'

_Ohhh-_

'_Ahhhhhh!' _Another scream came out of the room.

Oh, right. They forgot about Max.

* * *

><p>One minute Max had been all caught up in this awesome dream about this can of chicken soup that went around fighting crime - and it could <em>fly. <em>And _he _was that can of chicken soup. Then his mum had to go and ruin one of the best dreams ever by going all crazy and screaming.

'_Ahhhhhhh!' _she said.

_'Ahhhhhhh!' _he replied because he guessed this was her new way of saying _Good morning _or something. Huh.

'_Aye yai yai, _are there any more of you?' his mother threw up her hands, looking pretty tired.

'Uh, I don't think so, _unless... _that spell I've been working on worked! Did I do it? Did I replace everyone at this resort with Maxes?' This was a momentous day for Max Russo._  
><em>

Teresa wasn't even listening, pacing back and forth, 'Ha, if I'd known this place was filled with so many homeless kids I'd have never booked it in the first place.'

Well, Max had no idea what _she _was talking about. Where was Dad? Or Justin and Alex? Oh, hey - the sound of arguing. Found them.

Max climbed out of bed, leaving the hotel room without thinking to change out of his pajamas for some reason. Actually his pajamas were swimming trunks and a snorkel. The snorkel was because they were on vacation.

'Well, if you'd just distracted them _properly _yesterday, instead of _gluing people to chairs_ then I wouldn't have-'

'Hey, guys, what's going on?' Max glanced between his siblings. Their clothes were all crumpled and Justin had some kind of liquid on his shirt. Huh, everyone looked really messy today - at least Max knew he looked good.

Justin turned to his brother, arms crossed and hair kind of spiked in a load of crazy angles, 'Alex,' he glared at her again, 'do you want to tell our little brother what you did?'

'You mean what _we _did?'

'_No-'_

Actually, Max would rather they just got to the point. He yawned, 'You guys gonna tell me or not?'

Justin sighed, 'She got in a huge fight with Mum and used the family wand-'

'That you gave me.'

'_This is not my fault! - _to wish that Mum and Dad had never met and now Mum doesn't remember us and now, apparently, the spell book _and _the family wand are missing too. _N__ice one, _Alex, you've really outdone yourself this time.'

'It was right on the bed before you _slept on it.'_

'Before _we-_' Justin cut himself off. _Wow, _Max thought, _maybe my brain really doesn't make sense - I thought Justin was about to say something kind of weird, then._ Max took this as his queue to ask something.

'So... it's like we're in a parallel universe, right? Mum and Dad have never met, so that's why they don't remember us?'

Justin seemed shocked that Max had understood, 'Um, yes, actually. Exactly like that, by the looks of it. How did you...'

Of course, Max understood highly ridiculous situations perfectly.

'I'm confused,' Max said, returning to normal, 'Is this a good thing or a bad thing?'

Alex, who was trying to sleep against the wall with a scrunched up expression on her face, said 'Kid's got a point.'

Justin gasped, 'This is a very, very bad thing! And, once again, proves why I don't _do _bad things,' he threw his hands up, 'because whenever I do,' he pointed a finger at Alex, who couldn't see anyway because her eyes were closed, 'more bad things happen!'

She snorted, 'Which of the many _bad things_ are you talking about, Justin?'

'I- _not in front of Max!'_ his eyes flickered between the two of them before grabbing Alex's arm again, 'We need to find Dad.'

He tugged her along, not looking back.

Max tagged along behind them, just like always.


End file.
